Chapter 18: Luna

　　Luna lay underneath her covers with her knees pulled up to her chest. Her eyes were shut tight as she tried to be in any other memory than what happened tonight.

　　Elena had been cruel for a very long time. She knew that. But this was different. Everything she forced Luna to do had been for the mission, even leaving Freya to die. It was all for Isabel`s dream. But not that. That was just evil.

　　She could still feel it, her own daggers piercing her skin and the blood dripping down her arm. Yet, above all, she felt helpless.

　　Fighting Elena and expecting to win was foolish. It was not something anybody could do. What other choice was there? Just go on her missions, do what she says. . . don`t fight her any longer.

　　The knock at her door startled her. She gasped and covered her mouth, trying to sink into her bed to disappear forever.

　　No. . . Please - not Elena, I can`t-

　　Another knock. There was no voice from Elena demanding she do something. She pulled the covers off herself and glanced around her room. The darkness was clear; she had infinite moonlight. "Luna, I know you`re home," the quietest voice called from outside her balcony. It wasn`t a knock on her door; it wasn`t Elena. The Dimling? What was he doing here?

　　She got up and waltzed to her dresser. Her mask, does she need it? She didn`t sleep with it on, but. . . yes, she needed it. She placed it on her face and made her way over to the balcony door. Her room was shattered. She`d not cleaned it up from her tantrum after the meeting; she was too scared to make any decision on her own.

　　"Open up," another knock.

　　She unlocked the door before he could say more and opened it an inch, just enough to see him standing outside. She bent down to her knees, unable to stand. The memories still poured through her, ripping at reality. She saw Elena standing over her as she lay in a pool of her own blood, and then it faded into Caden standing outside.

　　He stood in his red cloak, with a black tunic covering his body. His hood was up, covering most of his face, and at that moment, he looked nothing like a crown knight.

　　"Go away," Luna whispered.

　　"Please, just listen to what I have to say," Caden said, crouching down to meet her on the floor.

　　She shook her head.

　　"I just got back from the mission."

　　She gasped, he did it, he killed someone. That`s what was different about him.

　　"I talked to Solaris, and he confirmed a suspicion of mine. Elena is an Emberward, a type of Pyromancer who studies the forbidden magic of the mind. I think there are some answers in this spell book." He pulled a book from his cloak. "If you could help me read it, we could work together to prevent her from compelling anyone else. . . and set you free."

　　He pushed on the door slightly, trying to enter. Luna panicked, drew her dagger from her cloak, and stopped him by putting her hand up. "No!" she called, a little too loud, "It doesn`t matter what you learn in that book. Nothing will help you, please just leave. . . before Elena makes her your puppet too. She can`t compel you yet, she told me. Please run, run as far as you can. You can`t fight her."

　　Caden put the book back in his cloak and pulled off his hood. He backed away so that he wasn`t touching the door and looked directly at her. The lantern light reflected off his eyes, turning them a deep orange. It was beautiful.

　　"Are you okay?" Caden asked.

　　The question was delivered with such genuine pity that Luna couldn`t help but let her tears fall. Why would he ask her that? Doesn`t he hate her?

　　She bit her lip, trying not to sob. Her mask hid her sorrow; she always felt safe with it on. Yet, tears stained her cheeks.

　　"Can I come in?"

　　She shook her head.

　　"Your hair is a nice color."

　　Luna went from trying not to cry to flushing in embarrassment. She quickly threw on her hood.

　　"It`s the first time I`ve seen it down," he spoke so soft, so kind like he was talking to a scared animal. She wanted to get angry with him for treating her like a child, but she held her tongue because she enjoyed his kindness. This was nothing like the Dimling who screamed at her and tried to kill her, who had ambushed her in an alleyway days ago. Killing someone really must have changed him.

　　"Flattery won`t change my mind."

　　"You`ve not shut the door completely, so I think I might have a chance to still speak with you."

　　Luna almost shut the door at that comment but decided against it and kept looking into his eyes.

　　"Can I apologize to you?"

　　"Why would you do that? I`m just a slag who killed your squad and has blood on her hands." She wiped a few tears from her cheeks, desperately hoping he couldn`t see.

　　"Yeah, well then, so am I. I just killed someone I thought I respected. Truth is, the knights have no honor. None of them are innocent. I thought maybe, after discovering Vance killed Isabel, it was just him or just the Elite. But no, the things at the Sanctuary. It`s all of them." He sat down and crossed his legs. "I preach about honor, yet forsake it. I am selfish and wrong. I`m sorry, Luna, for blaming you, hurting you, shouting at you, and calling you that word. You are not an evil person. I know the situation you are in now, and . . . I`m just so sorry. I do hope that one day, you could forgive me."

　　Luna sobbed. She covered her mouth with her hands and tried to hide in the shadows of her room. It hit her then; Caden could see her as clearly as she could see him. He knew she was crying. Yet he put his book away to see if she was okay. Why?

　　"I don`t need your pity."

　　"Then let me offer my help."

　　"Why?"

　　"I treated you terribly for the month I`ve known you, and now that I know the truth, I want to make up for it. . . I want to be better. I was a horrible, selfish person, and I`m trying to change." He looked pensively at the floor. He looked sad, genuine. Luna wanted to let him in, tell him everything. She wanted him to hold her. Was that also Elena`s compulsion?

　　"You don`t know the truth. . . You barely know anything."

　　"Then tell me. I have time."

　　"What about your stupid book?"

　　"What about it?"

　　Luna gasped. They both fell silent afterward; she didn`t know what to say.

　　"How much of it was you, and how much of it was Elena?"

　　Luna didn`t reply. How could she possibly answer that?

　　"I- I don`t know," she said.

　　"The Palace meeting with Felisha."

　　"She forced me to go. . . but the poison in her drink was me."

　　"You poisoned her?"The author`s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

　　She nodded.

　　"The spilling of her drink was me. I didn`t know."

　　"I thought she compelled you," Luna said, moving closer to the door. "I just learned she can`t, so why`d you listen to her?"

　　Caden blushed heavily, "Ah, well, I`d just seen her again after so long, I thought she was pretty so-"

　　"Gross!" Luna said, smiling.

　　"I know! I know!" He waved his hands in the air. "But I was a na飗e squire. Cut me some slack."

　　Luna`s smile broadened.

　　"What about Twill`s Squad?"

　　"That was her," she said solemnly.

　　"Getting angry with me?"

　　"Me."

　　Caden cracked a smile, "Beating the hell out of me?"

　　"Definitely me."

　　The two shared a light laugh.

　　"What about dragging me to that hovel?"

　　"Her."

　　"The Kindling too?"

　　"Yes, then she forced me to follow you to the barracks. I watched Vance beat the hell out of you."

　　"I don`t even remember that," Caden said calmly. "What about the Meeting?"

　　"Everyone but you and Solaris."

　　"He`s immune too?"

　　Luna looked away, "I don`t know if it`s immunity. I`ve seen her not be able to compel someone one night, then perfectly compel them the next day."

　　"There`s got to be a trick to it."

　　Luna said nothing in reply.

　　"What about right now? Talking to me?"

　　"What?"

　　"Are you being compelled this second to talk to me?"

　　She scrambled for an answer. Was she? Memories washed over her, and the only thing she could recall was: "Elena said we should be friends. But she`s not compelled me to do anything for about an hour. She`s left somewhere. I don`t know when she`ll return." She crossed her arms over her chest and pulled her sleeves tighter with her hands, covering her arms. She could still feel them throb with the invisible pain from the memory replaying in her mind.

　　"Can you let me in?" Caden asked.

　　She hated him at that moment, hated his eyes and how they fell upon her. She hated how he looked so sensitive, so kind. She hated how he was so open and offering help. She hated the slight smile that crept across his face, but most of all, she hated how badly she wanted to let him in.

　　"I`m not telling you to let me in. I won`t make you. I`m asking; you can answer how you like."

　　Luna still said nothing. She reached for the door, keeping control of the situation in her hands, not his.

　　His eyes softened further, "You make the decision, let me in, and we can talk more about this, or close the door, and I`ll go away."

　　She hesitated.

　　"Okay, I`ll see you later then. I presume we`ll be going on missions together, too." He got to his feet and walked to the edge of the balcony. He jumped with a prowess unlike anything she`d seen him do before and landed with perfect balance on the railing. He turned one last time to look at her.

　　"Wait. . ." she spoke through tears.

　　It was a horrible truth that despite how much she hated him, she didn`t want him to leave.

　　Caden stepped back toward the door.

　　She hesitated further; Elena would not be happy if Caden was helping Luna plot against her. Perhaps, through this tiny act of defiance, maybe she could fight her. Maybe they could fight her. . . together.

　　There was no point in trying, no point in opening the door, no point in doing anything unless Elena willed it. Yet, she did anyway. She allowed Caden to step inside.

　　He said nothing as he entered. He simply walked past her as she re-locked the door. He glanced around the room, noticing the horrible state it was in, but not saying a word. He just gestured to a spot on the floor.

　　Luna nodded, allowing him to pick up the box there. He moved it to the other side of the room, then sat with his back against her bed.

　　She waddled across the room and crawled into her bed, completely hiding under the covers. She took her mask off only when she was confident he could not see her.

　　"What about helping me with the registry? Was that her, or you in control?"

　　"Her. . . but also me," she said, "She forced me to go work with you, but once we got there, I gained control back. It happens often. Her spells can`t last forever."

　　"Why didn`t you just leave?"

　　Luna was silent.

　　"Does she hurt you?" He spoke so softly, as if only to himself.

　　"Yes."

　　"What about copying the registry? You said you were doing that." He quickly changed the subject.

　　"That`s me."

　　"Why?"

　　"Fear."

　　There was a long pause.

　　"How long have you known she had this power?"

　　"Seven years, twelve days, twenty-six hours."

　　"You have the first time she used it on you memorized?"

　　"I can see all my memories, remember?"

　　"Right. Does she compel you often?"

　　"More often now." Luna`s heart sank, and she pulled her knees up to her chest.

　　"Have you tried to run?"

　　"Yes."

　　"You were found?"

　　"Always. I`m not very capable on my own."

　　"Don`t say that. You`re extremely capable."

　　Luna held back a sob. Why was he being so nice?

　　"What was the longest time you were away?"

　　"Six months," she said, remembering her time with Freya.

　　"How did she find you?"

　　"I don`t know."

　　"She talks to you like she did in that hovel often, doesn`t she?"

　　Luna said nothing for a long time. She took in a deep breath, "Yes." She pulled her covers off her and saw Caden lying on the floor beside her bed. She took one of her pillows and dropped it right on top of him. No words were said, but he took it.

　　"How did you make her let me speak?" Luna broke the silence.

　　"I didn`t," he said, "I just scolded her. After you told me she forced you, well. . . I`m nervous around her but angry, too."

　　"She`s different around you, weaker."

　　"I`ve noticed."

　　"She`s manipulating you."

　　"I know."

　　"Why do you let her?"

　　"To kill Vance."

　　There was another long pause.

　　"I know what it`s like. . ."

　　"No, you don`t," she said quickly.

　　"Maybe not. But my dad and I fight all the time."

　　"It`s not the same."

　　"I know it`s not. I`m not trying to compare myself to you. Pain isn`t something that can be shared like that. I just wanted to say you`re not alone."

　　Alone. Luna thought. Why would he align his loyalty with her now? What did he want?

　　"We fight constantly," she said, "I`ve hurt her. She`s hurt me. I just want out."

　　"What do you want me to do?" Caden asked.

　　She was surprised, not because he was being so nice, not even because he was lying on her bedroom floor. But because nobody had ever asked her that before.

　　"I don`t know. . ."

　　He was silent for a very long time. It had been so long that Luna thought he might have fallen asleep right there.

　　"Where did you go when you left?"

　　"Rehysh," she paused, wondering if she should mention Freya.

　　"The pirate city?"

　　Rehysh was a port city right by the main lake of the continent. It was probably the only place that one could access a large body of water. . . unless they traveled through the storm at the edge of the world.

　　Luna smiled, "It`s not just a pirate city."

　　"But it does have pirates," Caden giggled, then laughed.

　　"What?"

　　"Just imagining you with an eye patch, peg leg, and a bird is funny."

　　"They don`t look like that," she said, her smile broadened.

　　"So, you were a pirate!"

　　"No! I was just with Freya, who-"

　　"Who happened to be a pirate?"

　　She scoffed, "Yes."

　　Caden laughed.

　　Luna`s cheeks hurt from smiling.

　　"Could you move down there again? Stay with Freya while I confront Elena."

　　Her heart shattered, and she choked back tears, "No, I can`t."

　　"Why?"

　　"She died."

　　"Oh. . . what happened?"

　　She swallowed her pride.

　　"When Elena finally found me, a huge fight broke out. Freya protected me, but Elena was stronger than all of them as a Pyromancer. She burned down the warehouse we stayed in, and Freya got everyone else out, but she died inside, choking on smoke and burning alive, unable to escape."

　　The memory flooded back into her as she spoke. "I had to watch. Elena refused to let me help and refused to help herself."

　　"I am so sorry," Caden said.

　　"She claims it wasn`t on purpose, she didn`t try to kill Freya, she didn`t want to, but they attacked her. . ." Luna covered herself with her blanket again, "That`s not what happened. Elena attacked them, thinking they were keeping me prisoner or some bull crap. Freya was the only person who knew everything in that group; she knew the real me, and well, I guess you do too."

　　"You didn`t deserve any of that."

　　"Today," Luna continued. She placed her mask back on, poking her face out from her covers, "I pissed her off and tried to leave because you went on my mission. We had this huge argument; we fought like normal, but then she forced me to take my daggers and cut up my arms. There was so much blood. . . she forced me not to heal. It was horrifying. She was going to kill me, I saw it in her eyes. . . but then she didn`t."

　　Caden didn`t reply. He just lay still for a long time. "I will figure something out," he finally said. He turned over to face her, and she noticed his eyes first. They burned with a cold fury, anger so deep that she could barely register it on his face. A Pyromancer with eyes like that could tear the world apart.

　　"I`ve given up," Luna said, and in the smallest voice she could muster, added: "Please help me."

　　"Don`t say that," Caden said softly, "Asking for help isn`t giving up; it`s refusing to give up. It is the bravest thing anyone could say. To ask for help is to admit fault and vulnerability but to continue fighting despite weakness. I know it means nothing coming from me, but you`re stronger than I`ll ever be."

　　Luna didn`t reply to that. She simply stared into his eyes, lost.

　　"I think Elena is behind Kaelea`s memories being pulled out," Caden said, "This means confronting her, even together, is a terrible idea. At first, I thought maybe we should do that. But if I confront her with you, she`d compel you to fight me. If I confront her alone, she could wipe my mind of ever recalling it."

　　He was right. Elena was too dangerous to be confronted. Luna wouldn`t need to worry about her memories being erased; she could recall every second of every day since she got her powers, and she`d know if Elena erased something. Safe to say, she was immune to one part of Elena, and Caden was immune to the other.

　　"I`ll take on every job she compels you to do," Caden said. "I think our best bet to stop her from using forbidden magic is to get her caught by crown knights. So, I`ll try to set her up somehow."

　　Luna nodded.

　　"Be honest, do you think she truly wants to bring back the Sun? Or is she up to something else?"

　　"Both, but I don`t know what she wants."

　　"I`ll learn what she wants. For now, let`s play her games, and I`ll try to keep you away from her as much as possible."

　　"Really?"

　　He nodded. "You still want to kill her?"

　　"Yes."

　　"If you help me become strong enough to kill Vance, I`ll give you an opening. I`ll find a way to break her spell over you, and you may strike her down. You could kill her in her own jail cell. Nobody would ever know it was you."

　　It was an impossible promise, something only someone half-mad would say, but despite the insanity that tipped his words, she believed him.

　　No more words were spoken that night. Hours passed, and eventually, Luna drifted into sleep. A numbing sensation washed over her. The deep fear and sorrow within her heart burst into flames. There was a new emotion smoldering within her. Something real, something given to her by Caden. Hope.