Elizabeth almost fried in her skin, filled as she was with the absolute certainty that this, right now, was the part where they were going to be rumbled, arrested, dumped in the dungeons and never seen or heard of again.

　　The scarecrow slid to a halt and began jumping from one foot to another as though he really needed the toilet. "Where are you taking these?" he howled, with a disapproving glare at Aelgren. "The performers are needed upstairs".

　　"Are they?" Aelgren blustered.

　　"These are the Great Festoonies?"

　　"Er . . . um . . . ooooof!"

　　"Yes - yes we are", shot Luella, un-digging her elbow from Aelgren`s ribcage.

　　The scarecrow made a face of utter panic. "You were supposed to be here two hours ago!"

　　"Sorry. We must have got lost".

　　"Aye", agreed Aelgren, vigorously rubbing his side. "All these corridors start to look the same after a while".

　　"Well now you are here we need to hurry up. If the Empress is kept waiting any longer then she`ll turn us all to pie meat. You know what she`s like. At the last banquet she had two of the chefs strung up just for overscrambling the eggs!"

　　"The Empress", gasped Barnaby, in stunned disbelief. "You mean . . . Penelope is here?"

　　The scarecrow looked at him as if this was the stupidest question that he had ever set ears on. "Of course she is. Didn`t anyone tell you?"

　　"Er . . . "

　　"I`m sorry", said Luella, "you`ll have to forgive my uncle. He`s a bit forgetful. Head like a broken sieve. But now you`ve found us, why don`t you lead the way?"

　　The scarecrow whirled about and marched off at the double, muttering and cursing as if it was the last time that any of these things were going to be allowed.

　　The group followed on behind, trying their best to keep sight of the scarecrow`s coat-tails, which flapped about like a magic rug on the wind.

　　"What in skull`s teeth are you doing?" spluttered Barnaby.

　　"I", Luella grinned, "am getting us as close to Penelope as possible".

　　Which, to judge by the look on Barnaby`s face, was not a good explanation.

　　"And why would we want to do that?"

　　"You heard what he said", stated Luella, matter-of-factly. "They`re having some sort of banquet. So all we need to do is find a way of getting in, take the Empress hostage, make her tell us where the Omnaria is, steal it back and use her to help us escape".

　　Barnaby opened and closed his mouth several times, but had obviously run out of words because no sound of any kind came out.

　　"But what about the sorcery?" said Elizabeth, as an invisible television inside her head began displaying scenes from the limited number of outcomes. Most of them involved the four walls of a prison. "Don`t you think that trying to kidnap her might be a bit - "

　　"Brilliant?" Luella suggested.

　　"Actually reckless` is the word I was looking for".

　　Aelgren huffed and puffed from the rear. "Ach, well. I eat reckless for breakfast".

　　"You`ll eat anything for breakfast", Izzario remarked.

　　The scarecrow led them up a narrow corkscrew of stairs and out onto a walkway adorned with banners of red and gold. At the centre of each one was a fearful bird of prey, its talons and wings outstretched as if to strike.

　　Elizabeth could hear the sound of voices up ahead. A hot flush picked at her arms and cheeks. She turned a corner to find an archway flanked by Blackcoats armed with stares so harsh they could curdle a cow-full of milk.

　　"Where have you been?" trilled a man with a plummy voice. His half-moon glasses and sharp white suit were a clear indication that he was someone in charge of something. "The guests are getting restless. I`ve already had to put the fire breathers on twice and the hypnotist has been out for so long he`s in danger of sending everybody to sleep!"If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

　　"I`m sorry, Master Kloke", the scarecrow snivelled, hunching his shoulders and wringing his hands like slippery eels. "I couldn`t find them. They said they were lost".

　　The man in the white suit gazed expectantly around the corridor, tapping the end of an ivory cane on the floor. "So . . . where are they now?"

　　Luella stepped forward with a bright: "Hello".

　　Master Kloke slid his glasses down to the tip of his pointy nose. "You?" he sniffed, sounding massively under-impressed.

　　"You were expecting somebody else?"

　　"I am expecting the Great Festoonies".

　　"And here we are", curtsied Luella, with a smile.

　　Master Kloke studied the group intensely. "Oh, but I am afraid that`s rather impossible", he said, with an air of impeccable disdain.

　　"And why is that?"

　　"Because you`re far too short and you smell like a sewer".

　　"We`ve not been well", complained Luella, knotting her arms.

　　Master Kloke was looking at Luella like she was a piece of dirt on the bottom of his shoe.

　　Luella was glowering at Master Kloke as though she could cheerfully twist his head off.

　　A line of servants swept regally by, their trolleys stacked with delicious-smelling delights.

　　Aelgren drooled longingly into his beard.

　　After several unbearable seconds Master Kloke blinked, tapped his cane again, and with measured irritation said: "Very well - if you really are the Great Festoonies then perhaps you could provide us with a demonstration of your talents. A quick gamboli-tumble, or a one-handed juggle perhaps?"

　　"We don`t do those any more", Luella reported, flatly.

　　"Then what about a doozy flopstand?"

　　Luella shook her head.

　　"Any loon twizzles?"

　　"Not since I hurt my leg".

　　Elizabeth was beginning to suspect that Luella`s plan wasn`t going very well - especially when one of the Blackcoats began to stare suspiciously in their direction, and especially when Luella turned to Izzario with a face that clearly suggested it was Time for Emergency Action`.

　　"There is one thing we can do", Luella said.

　　"And what might that be?"

　　"RUN!"

　　Before Elizabeth could even twitch a muscle Aelgren had snatched hold of one of the trolleys and was swinging it around like an Olympic throwing event.

　　Master Kloke dived out of the way with a shriek as the trolley whistled past him and slammed into the Blackcoats, spraying exotic food and silverware in each and every direction.

　　The scarecrow and the servants dashed for any cover they could find. The scene, within moments, was one of undiluted bedlam.

　　Luella flew into it like an arrow, re-emerging armed with a blunderbuss and a bulging pouch of ammo.

　　"GO!" she urged again, seeing that Elizabeth hadn`t moved even a fraction of an inch.

　　Elizabeth snapped a mental photograph of the unfolding chaos in front of her as a pot of something jellyish slid down a Blackcoat`s face, and took off as fast as she could, skeltering down the corridor, belting round the bends and flying up and down stairs so fast that her feet were barely touching the floor. Not for a single step did she dare to pause and look behind her . . . until she almost flew into the door.

　　The huge wooden thing at the end of her nose was as solid and immovable as a rock.

　　"Oh great, it`s locked", groaned Luella, as everyone came screeching around the corner.

　　Aelgren bent over, grabbed his knees, and began eagerly re-filling his lungs. "I told you", he said, puffing and panting for breath. "What did I say? We should have turned left".

　　Izzario folded his arms. "You didn`t say anything".

　　"Ach, well I thought it! But you dinnae listen to me. It`s always - " (Aelgren began waggling his hands about as though he was playing an invisible piano) "I have a very strong feeling` that we should be doing something like this . . . "

　　Izzario sighed, dismally. "By the fates, Aelgren, I`m hardly a mind reader. And if I was then yours would be a very small book".

　　"Can you two stop arguing for once?" snapped Luella, with a face as black as a storm. "This isn`t going to help". She returned to fiddling urgently with the keyhole - the door coming open to the rumble of angry boots. "Got it - come on!"

　　The bolts on the other side sounded reassuringly heavy as Luella slid them into place.

　　And Elizabeth gasped at the wholly unreal sight, which, as far as she could tell, was an enormous spider`s web of lasers.

　　The dim circular chamber had a large domed ceiling and was perforated with a myriad of pole-thin shafts of light. The rays were harvested by an army of prisms, bouncing between them until they merged together as one, the concentrated beam flowing onto the huge stone disc with the fin in the centre of the room. Engraved on the surrounding walls were the points of a compass and the intricate lines of a map.

　　"Fascinating!" enthused Barnaby, with a face of childlike wonder. "I`ve always wanted to see this place".

　　Luella looked nonplussed. "You know what it is?"

　　"Of course I do - it`s the Sun Room!" Barnaby hopped over to the great stone circle and began stroking it adoringly. "The convectorscopes carry the light from every side of the tower, and the solar beam can pinpoint the exact minute of the day. Before the invention of the Dorian Wheel it was the most accurate method of telling the time there was. King Velyn designed the whole thing himself".

　　"And did he design another way out?" said Luella, searching worriedly for an exit.

　　"Hmmm?" Barnaby was no longer listening. His attention was seized completely by the criss-crossing, interlacing beams of light above him.

　　"Forget it, I`ll find one myself". Luella tossed the blunderbuss to Aelgren. "If anything tries to get in - blast it".

　　Aelgren stared blankly at the wide funnel of the gun. "But I dinnae know how to use a shooty thing!"

　　He held it out towards Izzario, who gestured a polite refusal.

　　"Ach, I forgot about your Holy Orders. Well in that case - "

　　A bulging, thumping, turbulent walloping fright burst free of the door.

　　Luella snatched back the gun. "Never mind, it looks like they`re here . . . "

　　The hammering and the yells were an instant crescendo. A thunderfall of gunfire showered the air with tiny spears.

　　Elizabeth ducked for cover as the hefty bolts began to buckle and strain.

　　"They`re coming through", muttered Aelgren, grimly.

　　"What are we going to do?" Elizabeth screamed, the needle on her panicometre surging into the red.

　　Luella levelled the hand cannon. "Give them a fight, I suppose".

　　The door was splintering, preparing to break apart.

　　Elizabeth couldn`t bear to look.

　　And whatever happened next was so unusual that it made absolutely no sense at all.