Dearest Brother,

　　 I know it`s been much too long since I sent one of these letters. I promised that I`d keep writing, every month, and I kept that promise for a long time. But then I abandoned the promise, when the village - no, my village - was nearly destroyed. I was angry, and I think a part of me blamed you. Of course you had nothing to do with it - I think. Have you joined the army, I wonder? Did they make you join up or did you do it of your own free will? Did you want to redeem your family`s name, or did you just want to fade into obscurity and live a normal life? Are you passing my letters on to the spies or the propagandists, to analyze my words, to look for clues of my whereabouts?

　　 Well I`m sure that in time they`ll figure it out, or you will. But by then it will be too late.

　　 By the time you read this letter, either Carakhte will have fallen or I will be dead and the border-town will still stand. After that it won`t matter what the Invictans knows or don`t know. Xire, you shouldn`t stay with these people any longer. You must know by now they are no good for you. Please. Please, brother, see reason. The circumstances that have brought me to this drastic action could have been avoided. Now I`ll note lie to you: my path is set. I am going to make war against Invictus, even if that puts me against Aivor. I believe - no, I know - that it is now the right thing to do. A terrible thing, but the right thing. That it is necessary or justified, and I believe it is, does not make a thing less harmful. For that I`m sorry. I know that destroying Carakhte will destroy lives. I know that people will suffer in Kurikuneku for the loss of resources, the political unrest. I know that you may suffer. For that, I am so very sorry. But I think this was set in stone a long time ago.

　　-From the letters of Luca Buday, Dated 244 YT

　　244 YT, Spring: Carakhte, just north of the mountain pass into Gaurlante

　　 "Einos, Scout under the Ranger unit of Cigdem Nacar`s former command." The lie was practiced and surprisingly easy. Although the real Einos lay as ashes spread across the hills and marshes of the Wanderer`s Vale, Luca fell into the role with an easy confidence that surprised her. The only others who knew the truth were either on her side, or dead, or long since missing. Even most of Etyslund didn`t know about the dead Invictan scouts - except perhaps vaguely, as the bargaining chips that they were. Cigdem Nacar was accounted for. Arshay, the scout, was dead - his body recovered not far outside Etyslund after the battle. What was puzzling was that the knife wounds in his belly suggested an Invictan weapon, a standard-issue soldier`s knife. In fact, the wounds matched Arshay`s own knife, though there was no blood on the blade when his corpse was found.

　　 Only Zoe Bari remained unaccounted for, and neither Luca nor anyone else had a clue where she had disappeared to. If she was in Gaurlante, how would the real Einos know she`d survived?

　　 If Zoe was in Carakhte, on the other hand, Luca assumed that would mean her own death. She`d be brought into the city to meet with her one surviving squadmate. Despite all her efforts to disguise herself, Luca would be recognized instantly. Zoe wouldn`t forget her face, or her bearing. And then the soldiers would simply kill Luca, without a second thought.

　　 But that possibility was faint, wasn`t it?

　　 The gate-guard certainly seemed taken in by Luca`s lie. "It`s good to hear somebody else made it back," the guard said. "We figured all the others were dead by this point. It`s been so long since the battle, from what I hear, I would have thought anybody left behind out in that wilderness would have starved or frozen."

　　 "It was a close shave," Luca said. "There were a few times when I was sure I was done for."

　　 The guard nodded along enthusiastically as Luca relayed an anecdote in which she`d nearly died of exposure. Fake, obviously, but it was realistic enough. Luca had lived in the Vale for many years, after all, and she knew what conditions were like further from the towns. The gate-guard was a stern young man by appearance, but his manner of speech was that of a reassuring stranger, one who would offer a helping hand even to a complete stranger. Luca knew his manner did not match his mission, and she could not trust it, yet still he put her at ease just a little. If for no other reason - she sensed that he truly believed her words.

　　 After a deliberate pause, Luca did a double take and glanced up at the gate-guard again. "Hold on, did you say somebody else made it back?"

　　 "Yes," the gate-guard said. "You`re not the only survivor of that command. You weren`t aware?"

　　 Luca blinked. "Of course not," she said. "I was lost in the wilderness. I only just made it back."

　　 The gate-guard nodded. "Zoe Bari made it back. As far as she is aware, she was the only one. So I guess that means you`ve proven her wrong."

　　 "Zoe Bari? I was in her group under Cigdem Nacar - the scouts. We got separated during the fighting." The moment of truth: "And where is Zoe now?" Luca`s heart pounded in her chest. She hoped the gate-guard couldn`t hear it, couldn`t see her sweat or feel the rushing of her blood. That pulse seemed to fill the whole world, to Luca. It seemed a wonder that no one but her could feel it&

　　 "She`s in Kurikuneku," the gate-guard said, and Luca breathed a sigh of relief. "She passed through this town many weeks ago. Zoe rejoined with another squadron and made her way to the city. Last I heard she had some important mission."

　　 "A new mission, already?" Luca raised an eyebrow. "I`m glad to hear that she has recovered, but doesn`t it seem a little bit quick&?"

　　 "Yes," the gate-guard said. "It does, candidly. But we don`t make the rules. There must be some perfectly good reason for her to be reassigned so quickly. I just don`t know what it is, and if I did I probably couldn`t tell ya."

　　 "Oh, yes." Luca nodded. "Of course. Well, thank you, regardless."

　　 Luca started toward the open gate, to step into the border town of Carakhte, but the gate-guard reached out and held a hand before her. "I`m going to have to ask you to wait here, Einos."

　　 Her heart nearly skipped a beat. The guard must have noticed her nervous reaction, because he gave a chuckle, an almost apologetic chuckle, and he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and grinned. "It`s no big deal, really, no need to worry. We just need to process you, verify a few things. Hey, Orlin!" The guard shouted and turned his head up toward the wall.

　　 After a few moments, the sounds of low grumbling and groaning approached, followed by a man clad in dress uniform. His armor was loose and sparse, plates of iron held in place by strips of cloth over the otherwise unadorned dress uniform. He carried a clipboard and pen with him as he approached. "What is it? Who`s here?"

　　 The gate-guard turned to Orlin, motioning at Luca with his free hand. "Orlin, I need you to go process Einos for me so I can let her in." He gave to Orlin all the information Luca had told him. With each lie, Luca tried to maintain a neutral gaze, neither breaking eye contact suspiciously nor keeping it for too long. She ended up awkwardly standing beside while the two talked, casting her glance down whenever Orlin looked at her for more than a second. It made her curse herself inwardly, though it was hardly out of character for a scout, even for an Invictan scout.

　　 Orlin departed, clipboard in hand, and Luca was left standing with the gate-guard. Minutes stretched on as the guard leaned against the gate, looking at and past Luca. More than a few times during the wait, Luca glanced over her shoulder, seeing the distant trees and hills of the Vale. It all seemed dwarfed by the shadow of the great mountains beside Carakhte, the great border of Gaurlante that stretched on and on from west to east. That border ran from the glimmering ocean far behind Luca to the opposite sea many weeks` travel ahead.

　　 "Once everything`s found to be in order we can let you in, and of course we`ll put you up in a spare apartment." The gate-guard smiled gently. "It`ll be away from all the commotion and hubbub of town - we understand that after your journey you`re likely badly shaken. Your friend Zoe& well, it`s true she was sent back into the thick of it not long after she got here, but she`s an exception, not the rule. If it were up to me she`d have had at least a season of recuperation. I`d let her just sit in an apartment in Carakhte, live like a civilian on the state`s largesse. And that`s what you`re going to get if I have anything to say about it. But as for her, well." The gate-guard shrugged.

　　 Before he could open his mouth to finish, Luca finished the sentence for him. "You don`t make the rules." She returned his warm smile, hoping she looked genuine. To her, the smile she wore felt strained and forced. But, the gate-guard didn`t seem to mind or notice. Small wonder: after so long on the road, whose smile wouldn`t seem a little forced, a little awkward?

　　 The processing, whatever it was, was taking a long time, though, wasn`t it? Luca wondered what Zoe had told the guards when she arrived in Carakhte. She imagined that they`d debriefed her, gotten her statements, before sending her off to Kurikuneku. For all the guard`s gentle assurances, it was obvious that the same would be done to "Einos", if she made it into the town. But had Zoe said anything about Einos? After all, hadn`t Zoe been with the Invitans for the entire battle of Etyslund? If anybody knew the truth of what had happened to Einos, it would be Zoe.

　　 At last, Orlin returned, and Luca breathed easy. "Everything is in order," Orlin said, handing Luca a sheaf of papers. "The top paper is your assignment to an apartment in Carakhte, which you will take up residence in immediately upon your entrance to the city. Underneath that you will find information regarding your debriefing. You will have a period of one week to recuperate and recover your strength in preparation for the debriefing, after which time you will meet with me to begin the process."

　　 "You`ll have plenty more time after that to recover, though," the gate-guard said. Luca nodded quickly, not wanting to give the impression of contradicting a single thing these two said.

　　 After casting a quick glare at his fellow, Orlin continued: "In addition you will find requisition forms. I see that your uniform is in poor shape and not up to regulation. The same can be said of your weaponry - you have your sidearm, but your other weapons are gone!"

　　 Luca nodded.

　　 "Also," Orlin said, and he leaned close to the gate-guard when he said this: "I have information here regarding Zoe Bari. She passed through Carakhte some time ago, and is also a survivor of your same unit, so you should be aware -"

　　 Luca said: "I`m aware Zoe survived, your friend here told me about her. It`s great that she lived, and if you have any news of her I`m happy to hear it, but shouldn`t it wait for the debriefing?"

　　 At the same time, the gate-guard said: "Orlin, didn`t you hear us talking? We already went over this."

　　 "Ah, yes. Well." Orlin pressed the papers into Luca`s hands and brushed the front of his dress uniform with his hands. "As it happens, Zoe Bari has been reassigned to the Core. I`m afraid that any further information regarding her current status is classified."

　　 "Well," Luca said, knowing full well the answer would be negative, "isn`t it possible to get in contact with her?"

　　 "I`m afraid not," Orlin said, and Luca inwardly smiled. If they were suspicious of her, perhaps the desire to contact Zoe would assuage their fears.

　　 But, if they were suspicious of her, there would be little she could do to truly throw them off her tail without attracting further attention.

　　 "Well, thank you regardless," Luca said.

　　 "You have the location of your apartment," Orlin said. "And the key is enclosed. Please report to your apartment immediately. I`m having the place stocked with food as we speak, though it seems you survived your time on the road well enough."

　　 "Yes," Luca said. "For being as remote as they are, these Valers know the ways of the spaces between civilizations. I not only took their food for my own sustenance, but I learned from the Valers in my time among them."

　　 "You hid as one of them?"

　　 "For a time," Luca said. "In the village of Oxdal I -"This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

　　 Orlin tapped his clipboard with the back of a pencil. "The village of Oxdal which is currently under Invictan occupation?"

　　 "Yes," Luca said. "I took a disguise and snuck into the village. Unfortunately I wasn`t able to gather any tactically useful information." Inside, Luca began to panic. How could she avoid arousing suspicion&? An idea struck her, a horrible idea but perhaps a necessary one. "No useful information except that the daughter of the town`s elder Scholar may be trying to organize an insurrection. I can`t say for certain, but she wanted some underground help from me, or perhaps for me to join her little rebellion."

　　 Orlin paused, blinked, and then nodded. "This will be addressed. We`ll make sure the daughter is suitably interrogated and, if she`s found to have seditious intent, she`ll be killed."

　　 Luca`s heart sank. One more life on her hands, perhaps. But it was easier than Parshir, easier than Kalai. She`d done it to survive, she`d done it for the good of the mission that only she could carry on.

　　 "Come on in," the gate-guard said. "You don`t need to stand out there and catch a chill."

　　 "I think I`ve had quite enough chill for one life," Luca said as she stepped over the threshold and walked into the border-town.

　　 Inside, the town was an unusual sort of settlement, really halfway between a town and a fort. Luca glanced to the western wall as she entered and she saw the watchtowers. Just as Cigdem had said, they were impeccably kept and the watches thoroughly organized. To catch a watchtower guard in a moment of weakness would be a difficult feat - more difficult still to do so and walk away without being shot from the other towers. It was likely a pointless gesture, anyway. Good, then, that Luca and Stepan had come up with a better plan using Stepan`s intelligence. The first plan would likely have seen Luca dead by now.

　　 Much of the town was dominated by large barracks, military training yards, and command centers. Hangars and garages filled with vehicles of war, armories of guns and knives and bombs and other weapons. Carakhte even had a few small aircraft, short-range flying machines by the look of them that couldn`t make bombing runs far into the Vale but could scramble to fight off any higher-technology attack on Carakhte.

　　 In one of the training yards Luca saw a squadron of soldiers training. They drilled with their spears, forming tight formation and raising their shields and advancing. In that cluster of soldiers she saw Cigdem and Zoe and a dozen others, their shields like the scales of a great fish that undulated and flopped its way toward Luca. She turned her head away to avoid looking any of them in the eye, just as the shouts began. After the shouts came the thunk of the spears thrusting into dummies. Then the shuffle of footsteps. Formation broke, commands were shouted, and Invictan discipline gave way to Invictan ferocity.

　　 Keeping her face turned away from the scene, Luca continued walking. This place was mainly a fort, yes, and the soldiers were all around her, covering the place like ants. But she was one of them, now, as far as they were concerned. If they marked her as not belonging they would turn on her, but why would they mark her at all? She was among the crowd, she was anonymous. And between the military buildings, there were marks of another life. Taverns, shops, houses, the workstations of artisans.

　　 In the doorway of one such tavern Luca saw an oddly familiar face. An innkeeper - with the fat and jovial face Luca had long ago come to expect from all innkeepers, everywhere in the world - stood leaning with his back against the doorframe of his house of business. A smoking cigar hung between his lips. The cloud that issued from it was thick and black. In that face, Luca recognized the possibility of refuge - a familiar figure, someone who might know her. Someone who might, indeed, have known her parents. There was only one way to find out for sure.

　　 Luca stopped in the street and slowly approached the innkeeper, where he stood against the wall. As she approached he lowered the cigar, clasped between his fingers, and stared toward Luca. His eyes were beady, curious, searching. Luca walked up to him slowly, meeting his gaze. "You know El-Kir?" Luca asked as she came close.

　　 "The traitor from the days before?" asked the innkeeper, taking another slow drag of his cigar. "Aye, I know her well. Old fox."

　　 Luca chuckled. "And&" she glanced over her shoulder. No one following. She looked up. None on the roofs. And then she leaned forward. "Does the name Buday mean anything to you?"

　　 "Aye," the innkeeper said. "I knew your parents too, helped them get in contact with the right people. You know, the right people." Luca knew, of course. Risir, the innkeeper meant the Risir. "It`s really a shame how things shook out in the long term. You`re not Xire, are you?"

　　 "Xire is my brother," Luca said. "But how do you -"

　　 "I figured as much, but here you are, dressed in that sharp uniform, looking like you own the place. God, it`s so strange. It`s almost like you belong here, Luca. But you and I both know better, don`t we? Nobody really belongs here."

　　 Luca scoffed and shrugged and jerked her head toward the doorway. "Any chance I can come in for a moment?"

　　 "Of course, of course." The innkeeper shook his cigar, threw what was left of it onto the street and stomped it out. Then he opened the door and stepped inside, gesturing for Luca to follow.

　　 The bar was a humble place, and yet it had the same homey, rustic charm that Luca remembered places like this having. Her memories of this man were so faint, but he was forever associated - to her - with reserved joy, and just as much with the serious yet casual air of one who knows he is doing the right thing but could be killed for it at any moment.

　　 Inside, the innkeeper said, "There are no listeners in this place. I`ve made sure of it. And so what is it that brings you to Carakhte, Luca Buday?"

　　 "Well," Luca said, considering her words carefully. "I have to find some information. And, hopefully, to delay or stop the invasion of the Vale."

　　 "Oooh, that`s a tough sell." The innkeep moved to stand behind his bar, while Luca struggled to remember the man`s name. That face was burned in her memory, as though he were her own uncle or cousin. But for the life of her she could not remember the man`s name - it wasn`t important. "I sure hope you have a plan for stopping the invasion of the Vale, because the army`s been kicking into full gear getting ready for that. I`m sure you already know they`ve been taking villages, pushing north through the land. They want to clear as much of a path as they can to cut straight to Kivv when the time is right. And of course that means trampling on everybody gets in their way. Killing, mostly. When I say they want to clear a path I really do mean clear a path."

　　 Luca nodded. "I`ve seen their idea of clearing a path," she said. "Of course if the army were competent we`d have a lot more to worry about."

　　 "Oh, they`re competent alright." The innkeeper laughed uproariously, slapping a hand on the bar in front of him. "You must have seen their worst. At their best, these people could take Kivv in a day if there was nothing in the way to stop them."

　　 "You`re not inspiring confidence," Luca said.

　　 "I`m not trying to!" The innkeeper scowled behind his thin beard at Luca. "It`s not my job to inspire confidence, it`s my job to inspire drunkenness! And sleep! And to make good food! And, to provide timely and useful advice to all my patrons, including those who may perhaps be planning some& less than savory or at least less than legally above-board activities. Well, all I`m saying is that you`d best have a very good plan. There`s tell that High Priest Zhiren himself is going to be part of the invasion force."

　　 "I heard a rumor like that too," Luca said. "But it`s good to have confirmation. As far as you`re aware, High Priest Zhiren is not in fact immune to death, or to the limits of logistics?"

　　 "As far as I`m aware," said the innkeeper. "But he`s a powerful man, and a tricky and dangerous one. Hardly anything he might do would surprise me more than I`m expecting to be surprised. And you ought to treat him with the same gravity, Luca."

　　 Luca nodded. "I promise that I will. I do have a plan, you know."

　　 "Oh, but - don`t tell me your plan." The innkeeper shook his head. "In fact, you shouldn`t tell me much of anything specific. Not how you got here, not who you`re pretending to be, not anything. I got some deniability that way."

　　 "You`re already sticking your neck out very far just by talking to me," Luca said. "Please don`t put yourself any further at risk."

　　 "Don`t you worry about me, dear - I`m quite conscious of my own safety." As he said that the innkeeper reached under his bar and pulled out an old shotgun, a weapon that looked like it could have come from the Desert itself. Luca knew little of weapons, but the innkeeper was more than happy to fill her in. "Old-time military syndicate design, from the Aether War. Don`t know which syndicate, and don`t care, but what I can tell you is this shotgun will keep this bar safe - and has kept this bar safe, on more than one occasion."

　　 "This bar, specifically?" Luca laughed.

　　 "Oh, yeah - you`d be surprised how many criminals and leeches you get on a base like this. Military discipline? It`s not as strong as you might think. And I don`t just have guns. Guns alone aren`t worth much. I have this." The innkeeper tapped his head. "Now I let you in here for two reasons, Luca: one, I wanted to chat, to catch up, and to make sure you really are who you say you are. I`m satisfied by this point, so&" he gestured at the gun. "We won`t have to use this on ya. The second reason I wanted to let you in here is this."

　　 The innkeeper leaned forward.

　　 "I suspect that you aren`t the only person who isn`t supposed to be in this town, and I want to do what I can to further the cause of bringing the Empire straight down to its knees so the Gaurl people can finally be free of self-imposed tyranny. Today, right here, what that cause means is opening up this place so that those who need a refuge, have one. Those who need a safehouse, have one. Those who need a place to plan their next moves, covertly, without the risk of listening ears and prying eyes - have such a place. Those two reasons are the only two reasons I invited you in here."

　　 "I asked to come in," Luca said.

　　 "I invited you. And now I`m asking you to leave - quietly, with a bottle of my finest liquor in hand." The innkeeper placed the bottle on the bar - gleaming in the low light of candles and gas and electricity, all mixed as one glowing blanket over the whole room.

　　 Luca approached the bar slowly, hands out for the liquor. The innkeeper pressed the bottle into Luca`s hands and said, "Call it requisition. Call it a little liquid therapy. Whatever you need to say to get anybody who asks why you`re here off your back. And make sure they stay off my back, too. Because Luca& it`s more than just your life or mine riding on this."

　　 "It`s everyone`s lives," Luca said. "And soon even more. You`ll be getting some more visitors soon, my good sir."

　　 The innkeeper nodded at that. "I believe you have a place to get to."

　　 Luca gave a quick nod, took the bottle, and left the bar. She put her hands in her pockets, trying to appear subtle as she left, but not too subtle - the bottle was tucked under the crook of her elbow, and as she made her way toward the apartment she praised her luck.

　　 But now Luca was tired, and hungry, and she was tempted (not only because of the character she played) to take a swig of the alcohol. So when she arrived in her apartment, Luca simply opened the bottle, took a drink, and set the remaining majority aside. She made her way through the dark apartment to her small bedroom, noting the fine craftsmanship of the bed`s frame and how comfortable its sheets looked.

　　 And then she collapsed into the bed, wasting no time.

　　 Luca awoke before morning and rolled out of her bed, glancing out the window to confirm that it was still nighttime. Perhaps an hour before sunrise. That was good. She took off her uniform and threw a hood over her head, and when she went to the kitchen she searched for the provisions she wanted. There was a box of Gaurl cigarettes in the appropriate drawer, just as she had hoped.

　　 When she stepped outside, Luca lit up one of the cigarettes and smoked it slowly as she walked. It was an effort not to cough at the smoke as it entered her lungs - she had never developed a taste for the stuff - but the discipline provided her cover. Each time she inhaled and thought of coughing, she forced herself to think of the pain of a bullet through the back and palm of her hand. She`d endured that. She could endure this, couldn`t she?

　　 The cloud of smoke gave her the perfect cover to slip out of sight of anyone who might be watching - once, then again, then again. The smoke of a Gaurl cigarette was thick and dark, perfect for Luca`s purposes today.

　　 When she made it to the northern wall of the town, she recalled what Cigdem had told her about the underground. Luca walked over a grate, and stood atop it as she gazed out at the mountains to the east. She reached into her pocket and took out a slip of paper. On it she wrote a few sentences:

　　 Don`t let anybody see you. Go to the inn: go straight forward past six left-side roads, then take the seventh left and knock on the door of the fourth building on your right. Tell the man there that Luca sent you. DO NOT LET ANYONE ELSE SEE YOU. He will shelter you, he will keep you from being counted. As far as the city is concerned, you do not exist, and if you are found to exist it may spell all our dooms. Good luck.

　　 She folded up the note and dropped it into the grate under the cover of a cloud of thick smoke, and then she turned and walked back to the apartment, waving the Gaurl cigarette and trying to look wistfully toward the mountains. When finally the thick choking of the smoke in her lungs and in her throat grew too great, she tossed the cigarette aside and coughed. It was a wet, phlegmy cough, and it made Luca feel dirty inside. She stomped out the cigarette and made her way back to the apartment.

　　 Once inside again, Luca did not waste any time. She began her search around the door itself - running her hands over the frames. She took down the picture from the wall, examined its frame closely, and saw nothing, felt nothing, in that frame. It was unlikely, Luca thought, that there could be a hidden camera. Technology like that might be common in Kurikuneku, but unless these past few years had seen a great leap in the Empire`s tech, a place as distant as Carakhte wouldn`t have the technical infrastructure to support that. Where would the feed be streamed to? Carakhte was a temporary settlement, a staging ground for an invasion, not a real city in its own right.

　　 As she moved about the room, she made an effort to still her breath, to make her footsteps quiet. When she placed the picture back on its wall, she did so slowly, almost excruciatingly slowly, so that there was nary a sound. And then she went to the desk. Nothing there, among the ornaments, the cup of pencils.

　　 She walked over to the bed, checked under it. she ran her hands under the mattress, searching for any bumps that did not belong. She found nothing.

　　 Muttering nonsense under her breath, little tunes in the old Gaurl tongue she`d learned as a child, Luca turned around and glanced at the window, at the desk. The room was sparse and not much decorated - surely there were only a few places one might hide a listening device. Where could such a thing be, if not&

　　 The pencils.

　　 She walked to the desk and sat down. Reaching into the cup, muttering still, Luca withdrew a pencil, looked it over, and snapped it in half. Broken-off pieces of lead fell onto the desk. "Damn it," she muttered. "Flimsy things." She took another pencil, and snapped it. "Flimsy things!" she said again, louder, more agitated, as the lead clattered on the desk.

　　 When she picked up the third pencil she felt a seam, almost halfway up the pencil`s shaft. She tested the seam with her fingernail - the ridge was solid, clean. With one thumb on each side she held the pencil in each hand. Lowering her ear close to it, she even thought that she could hear an odd humming, ringing, coming from the pencil. Perhaps it was her own mind - the ghost of the battles she`d witnessed. But she did not think so.

　　 Eirchais whispered in her mind, a distant voice, but comforting: That one has a hollow space within, Luca. You`ve found it.

　　 She snapped the pencil in half. "I don`t want anyone listening to me," she said quietly as the torn metal - tinier than a button - fell onto the table.