"Looks like I win this round, boy," Dick said to the [Rizzenator] terminator that pretended to be a girl, showing off the Rizz he`d accumulated. It was Sir Rizznatchulous` idea to charge customers not only in Buttcoin, but in Rizz as well. Dick was skeptical, but people were only too happy to pay extra for his burgers. In just a few short hours, he`d accumulated a vast amount of Rizz.

　　Rizz: 69,420

　　"Sixty-nine thousand Rizz!?" the [Rizzenator] exclaimed, blushing in rage, but with its skeletal chrome face, it just looked downright creepy. "That`s impossible! It`s unfair!"

　　She—it—only had 69,069 Rizz.

　　"Life`s unfair, kid," Dick said. "Just ask O.J."

　　"I`m not a kid!" The skeletal-framed murder machine replied.

　　"You literally said you were a ten year old."

　　"Y-yeah? Well, talk to the hand!" the terminator said, holding a palm out.

　　"So do I get the Falling Turtle?"

　　"Tortoise. Falling Tortoise," the cross-dressing [Rizzenator] said.

　　"Same thing. Conspiracy theorists keep insisting there`s something different about em, but there isn`t," Dick said smugly.

　　"Uh, Dick? I`m pretty sure one lives underwater and the other`s primarily terrestrial," Greg corrected.

　　"Wrong. That`s what the conspiracy theorists want you to think. Just like the moon landing. How can you land on the moon when the earth is flat? Trust me, I`m a pro."

　　"Riiiight. Yeah. Okay. Gotcha." Greg said slowly edging away from Dick.

　　"What`s wrong? You look like I`ve got BROVID-69. Bro."

　　"Hey! I`m still here! Don`t ignore me!" the murder machine governer said, pointing a hand accusingly at Dick.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

　　"So? What`ll it take to win this [Falling Tortoise]?"

　　"One punch."

　　"What?"

　　"We punch each other at the same time. Whoever dies is the loser."

　　"Kay," Dick replied, stretching his arm. "But don`t blame me for hitting a little girl."

　　"I`m not a little girl!" the machine replied.

　　"Well, good."

　　Tumbleweeds blew across the road between them as the classic western dueling song suddenly started playing. Dick looked up to see a [Cryptobro] with an eighties japanese boombox on the second floor of a building, though he couldn`t say when he`d arrived.

　　Dick nodded to the [Cryptobro] with respect. The [Cryptobro] flashed a peace sign back.

　　"Now hang on just a minute," Greg exclaimed. "You`re fighting to the death! To the death! Didn`t you hear it? Her. Whatever."

　　"I must concur," their [Rizzly Bear] guide said.

　　"You`re still here?" Dick asked. "Totally forgot about you."

　　"Yeah, same," Greg said. "Why`s this guy even here? He seems like a totally unnecessary character the author added to the party—oh. Right. That`s a trope, isn`t it?"

　　"Indeed, it is, I`m afraid," Ser Rizznatchulous replied.

　　"So?" Dick asked, addressing his new mortal enemy. "I ain`t got all day. We doin` this or not? Gotta warn you, I throw a mean jab."

　　"Yeah, don`t worry, I can take whatever you`re about to dish out. You can`t possibly hope to defeat the likes of me, who has ended more challengers than you could possibly rizzmagine. I, who am the fairest Rizzgainer in town! Me! The gloriously beautiful [Rizzenator]—!?"

　　 Dick didn`t wait. He moved in and threw a light jab. Several things happened at once. For one, a shockwave formed from the compressed air of Dick`s punch. The compressed air superheated, triggering a spontaneous combustion explosion. Detonating at point-blank range, the blast traveled from its epicenter, leveling the nearby buildings.

　　But none felt the force of his punch more than the cross-dressing Skynet-built murder machine, which was sent flying all the way to outer space, disappearing with a "Kyaaaaaaaaa."

　　"Huh," Dick said, shaking off the impact. "Didn`t expect her to be so weak. Gotta make sure I don`t punch any more little girls in the future."

　　You have acquired the Skill [Punching]: [Punching] lvl 1 — Some people slice their way to victory, but you prefer a weapon from a more civilized age. +1% punch damage. +50 EXP.

　　You have acquired the Skill [Saitama] lvl 1 — The art of destroying your enemies with one punch is a rare talent mastered only by those who regularly do pushups and go for jogs. +1% punch damage on the opening punch of a fight. +50 EXP.

　　Greg held his starry head in his hands. "There`s so much wrong with this, I don`t even know where to begin."