"Umi daaaa"I shout as loud as I can. Some kids and parents look at me weird, then resume their leisurely activities. That being said, it`s not exactly a seashore. Nor is it ocean shore.I live in a landlocked town removed from large bodies of saltwater by thousands of kilometers, and I`ve never seen a sea in my life(other than in anime).The beach I`m visiting surrounds an artificially made pond, named "Little Starwberry" perhaps because the author had a sense of humor. At night, local farmers bring their animals here to clean them. At day, the townspeople swarm here, eager to relax in the countryside`(in truth we`re only one kilometer away from the rapidly expanding suburbs).The quality of water is as you imagine.Actually, this calls for sharing an anecdote, a traumatic memory from my childhood, when I was young and naive, and not at all battle-hardened as I am now, and had a mistaken idea of taking a swim there. As soon as I opened my eyes underwater, I was assaulted by the omnipresent yellow, and a thick piece of feces of unknown origin emerged from the depths. I`ve been afraid of water ever since. Yet right now, all these townspeople are happily overcrowding the pond, not knowing or not caring about the terrors slumbering within. I will not warn them.

　　[+5 evil]

　　Oh, I should probably mention that at a certain point a dnd alignment chart appeared in my stats. According to it, I`m

　　[Retarded evil]

　　&.and let`s leave it at that. My dark ruminations are suddenly broken by the slithuette of my sworn brother, Vanya, who appeared at the horizon. I could barely make out the dumb smile on his dumb face, but I didn`t fail to notice that he was enthusiastically waving a square red pack in his hand.

　　[Quest steal incense from the store`: successful! +5 exp!]

　　Now you may wonder, why did I get exp for that if I didn`t participate.

　　Why, that`s easy, we are in the same party so the exp is divided evenly. Duh.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings."Misshaa, blyat, do you have fire"I whip out a pack of matches. And soon, we are enjoying ourselves over a smoke, taking turns sucking on the same ciggarate like only the truest sworn brothers do.But have no doubt, we aren`t some bitches who exhale a soon as they feel a bit of smoke graze their lungs. No, we are true martial heroes of legend, so we inhale deeply, keep the smoke in our lungs, and only after we can`t breath anymore we let it out through our nostrils. If you`re smoking in any way other than that than I dunno what to tell you, I hope you`re a woman, huehuehuehue. Speaking of women, there are a lot of scantly clad jade beauties on the shore. "Damn some fine bitches this day" points Vanya out, not talking to anyone in particular.I want to say that I already have a waifu, but I`m sure she won`t mind if I go and hunt for some secondaries at add to my harem.Throwing a still fuming cig bud to the ground, I rise up and go on a hunt.

　　[Quest: make a jade beauty go "kyaaaa"]

　　 If I succeed at that, she will hate me first, and then fall in love with me 2 chapters later, like some tsundora. I approach some girl getting out of the water, and tell the rhyme I`ve been preparing especially for that occasion"My dick is 300 li long and 3000 shili thickBitches love my dick, cause it`s really big"She looks at me like I`m retarded and walks past me without saying a word. However, just as I turn to tell the pickup rhyme to some other jade beauty, a guy who looks like he has [Str] and [End] for brain approaches me and screams at me:"Skatina, what did you say to my girlfriend!?"

　　[Talk][Fight]>[Escape]

　　[Quest failed]

　　And soon enough, I`m back where Vanya is, a fresh black eye now adorning my visage. "Huehuehue I saw what happened"I say nothing, but grab a new cigarette and inhale it aggressively. "This was just a scripted defeat."