Home Genre comedy Norman the Necromancer (Progression Fantasy)

Chapter 9: Ride or Die

  After another long and uncomfortable silence, that had Norman checking the oven every couple of minutes, he declared the substance dry enough.

  Norman scrapped the dried blood off the baking tray and into a small bag, all the while keeping an eye on the bald man to determine his current mood. Norman quickly realized that was not going to be possible based on the man`s stony expression.

  Who was this guy anyway, and who told him Norman could speak to the dead?

  While Norman wasn`t a hundred percent certain, he had a pretty good guess at who this man was. The guards, the tattoos, and the leather biker vests were kind of a dead giveaway. There was also the casual tossing around of a corpse. That wasn`t something normal people did. That meant the man and his colleagues were dangerous. Not that Norman didn`t already know that by the hard looks and pistol strapped to the man`s side.

  Whoever the unfortunate dead man was, he had died very violently. Half a dozen stab wounds were visible on the body but the two bullet holes in the forehead were most likely the cause of death. Norman really hoped that brain damage wouldn`t stop his spell from activating.

  Norman stepped back from the table as his sock started getting wet. He grimaced and tossed a dirty towel on the growing pool of blood on the floor to keep it from spreading any further. The man quirked an eyebrow at Norman`s actions but otherwise remained silent.

  Norman cleared his throat and made his way toward the man`s head.

  "Um& this part is a bit um& unsettling."

  "Just get on with it, I don`t have all night."

  "Ok, but just so you are aware, I, um, I`ve never tried this on a human before. I`m not sure it`ll work."

  "Uh, huh, whatever, quit stalling."

  Norman sighed and looked at the corpse. Then he was forced to choke back a gag as the smell of the body wafted toward him.

  Instead of decomposition, he got a whiff of the man`s body odor. It smelled like old sweat covered by baby powder. The two mixed into an unholy union to produce something far worse. Norman would have almost preferred the stench of decay to the smell of the man`s funk.

  "Here goes nothing," Norman grimaced as he dabbed his fingernails in the powder and shoved them deep into the man`s eyes.

  ***

  Norman was facing a wall safe. He began spinning the lock on the safe. It ended at three numbers and Norman made a mental note of the combination in case it was important. He jerked the safe open and it was filled with cash, drugs, and a pistol.

  Norman reached his meaty hand inside and grabbed the pistol. In the distance, he could hear gunfire but it was muted by the closed door. But he could tell the sounds were getting closer. After closing the safe, Norman slid the painting that covered it back into place. It was one of those tacky paintings with dogs playing poker and smoking cigars.

  After moving the painting back, he checked the weapon. It was loaded and the safety was off. Then with one hand, he heaved the thick wooden desk onto its side like it weighed nothing. During that time the sounds of fighting had steadily gotten closer and Norman could hear shouting from just beyond the door to the room. There was another bust of gunfire, followed by silence. Norman crouched behind the desk and aimed at the door.

  Only a moment later, it exploded inward and he unloaded the weapon at the opening. He heard grunts of pain from within the smokey hallway followed by the sound of a body hitting the ground. It wasn`t enough though as three large men rushed in and wrestled him to his knees before he could reload. He didn`t make it easy on them though as he snapped one of his attackers` arms.

  After Norman was secured, a lithe woman made her way in. The woman couldn`t be considered beautiful or even pretty. Her face bore a scowl that could curdle milk and her skin was textured like lumpy oatmeal. Norman had seen similar skin conditions in people with bad acne but never to this extent. The woman`s greying hair was held in a tight bun behind her head, making her face seem stretched, which didn`t add to her appearance.

  "Where is it, John?" the woman said in a cold tone as she ran a fingernail down the length of Norman`s face, leaving a line of blood. It was one of the cuts Norman had mistaken for a knife wound. Norman shivered at the thought of someone`s nails being sharp enough to cut the skin like a knife.

  This woman obviously wasn`t a physical classer going by her frail appearance. That meant she had some other form of magic or a skill. She was obviously someone with power if she had physical classers working for her.

  Norman tried to spit on the woman`s face but he was socked in the side of the head by one of the men holding him, making the spit land on the floor instead.

  "The hard way it is then," the woman said with no emotion as she started carving into him.

  ***

  Norman came to and found himself standing at the head of the table with his fingers still stuck inside the dead man`s eyes.

  He blinked a few times to clear away the memories of dying. "Whoa& that- That wasn`t nearly as bad as I-," projectile vomit interrupted Norman`s words as he covered his hands and the face of the dead man in his last meal.

  That made him gag and almost vomit again. This repeated itself a few more times as Norman ran toward the sink and get control of his stomach.

  The bald man mumbled something about amateurs before he walked out of the room. The man returned shortly with a towel and a bottle of water.

  "Clean yourself up, and wash your mouth out with this," Norman tried to catch the bottle of water but it slipped through his bile-covered hands and hit the floor. It landed upright but sent a spray of blood and vomit showering Norman`s legs. This caused another round of gagging and Norman ran back over to the sink.

  The man pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fucking hell, kid."

  He spent a good three minutes washing the vomit off of himself and catching his breath. He even managed to recover the bottle of water and rinse his mouth out. The man waited quietly while Norman got himself presentable.

  "Are you done?" the man finally asked.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  Norman gagged again but managed not to throw up again as the hot smell of stomach acid mixed with the smell of the dead man hit his nose. Norman nodded quickly but pointed to the living room.

  The bald man stepped aside as Norman hurried past him towards the fresher air of the other room.

  "Sit down and tell me what you saw."

  Norman did as instructed, taking a seat on his broken couch and relaying what he had seen in his vision.

  The man listened quietly, only stopping him a few times to ask for details.

  Norman thought about keeping the wall safe a secret for only a moment before he thought better of it.

  "A wall safe, eh? Did you see if the attackers found it?"

  "No, the um, man," Norman jerked his thumb over his shoulder and toward the kitchen, "died during questioning. The lady in the vision seemed to think the man had something though."

  The bald man just grunted, not answering Norman`s question.

  Norman nodded, "who was the woman?"

  "You don`t need to worry about that. I think we`re done here." The man reached into his pocket and Norman stiffened.

  When the man pulled his hand out, he had a bag that he tossed to Norman. "For your trouble."

  The man turned to leave but stopped as he spotted a crate of unsold potions sitting off to the side.

  He pointed to them, "you make these?"

  Norman nodded, then cursed internally. "You wouldn`t want them though, they don`t heal much." Norman didn`t care if criminals bought his potions from the Guild. But them getting it directly from him was a problem, especially if they learned what ingredient went into them.

  The Guild would be angry at him if they found out but they were less likely to kill him over something like that.

  "Whatever, every bit helps. I want a case a week."

  The man grabbed the case and walked out while Norman screamed internally and followed the man outside to try and change his mind.

  "I don`t know if I can do that along with my other sales."

  The bald man stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned towards Norman.

  "I think you have a bit of a misunderstanding, Norman. I will be your only customer from now on. You work for me now. None of this goes to anyone but me. Also, you don`t do what you did tonight for anyone else. I`ll be in touch." With that, the man turned and handed the crate to one of the brutes before he stepped into the SUV.

  "Wha, I don`t even know who you are?"

  "Ask your friend over there."

  Norman looked to where the man gestured and saw Toby zip-tied and laying face down at the corner of his porch.

  Toby? What the fuck!

  "Wait? What about the body!"

  "That`s your problem, but then again, maybe it`s more a bonus for a necromancer, eh? Have a nice night, Norman."

  After those parting words, the SUV backed out into the street and drove off.

  "What the fuck just happened?" Norman asked himself in bewilderment.

  Norman took a moment to process the last few minutes. He was still recovering from the spell and now he had two new issues dumped into his lap. Or one, assuming Norman could use the body.

  As for the spell, it replayed more than a minute of the dead man`s life. If Norman had to guess, it was more like five minutes. It was a stark change from what he experienced when testing the spell out on animals. He would need to figure out why it was different this time around but that would need to wait.

  Norman looked back at the unconscious Toby, feeling a bit betrayed, and decided to leave him like that for a bit. He had no doubt it was Toby that had told these men about his new spell. Toby was the only other person that knew about Norman practicing it. That buried memory only resurfaced when Norman saw his friend tied up in the corner.

  "Fucking short-term memory," Norman sighed and opened the bag that the bald man had thrown to him before leaving.

  Norman quickly cinched the bag closed again and looked around to ensure nobody was around to see his reaction. The bag was full of a random assortment of small gems. Norman had heard gems were becoming a replacement for paper currency but this was his first time seeing them in person.

  Without a central reserve to back up the value of the currency. The city was forced to find alternative methods to keep the economy going. Precious metals and gems were the obvious choices. Of course, if you were rich enough, or powerful enough, you could do away with the middleman and just deal in gold and gems.

  Norman didn`t frequent the types of circles where he needed anything other than the old paper currency still in circulation. He rarely made purchases of more than a hundred dollars and even the more common gems were probably worth more than that. The bag contained at least a dozen red and blue stones. If he had to guess, the gems in the bag were probably worth a few thousand dollars.

  But gems weren`t just valuable for currency. Some spells he had seen people post online used gems as a catalyst and he had seen the elves use powdered gems and even whole gems as focusing agents in their magic.

  Thankfully, none of Norman`s magic required gems. As far as he knew. Even if it did, it would mean burning money to cast spells, so he wasn`t sure he wanted to find out.

  Tucking the bag safely into his shorts, Norman finally moved to free his friend. He didn`t have a knife though, so he dug around in Toby`s pockets until he came away with the man`s keys.

  The men had roughed Toby up pretty badly. Although, he was in better condition than he should be in considering the three men that left him here were all physical classers. Norman was tempted to leave the man tied up for exposing his secret, but he quickly banished that thought. He didn`t know the circumstances behind Toby`s capture. He would allow the man to explain his actions before deciding if he was going to be angry with him or not.

  The keys weren`t ideal for sawing through the thick plastic restraints but Toby was still unconscious and couldn`t complain.

  Norman heard the banging of a screen door and looked across the street to see a worried-looking Anna running over.

  "Shit," he muttered, finally breaking through the plastic.

  He slapped Toby across the face hard, making the man jerk awake. That action gave Norman more joy than it should have. "Get up, your sister`s coming."

  Toby accepted Norman`s hand without a word as he was dragged to his feet.

  "What`s going on? Who were those men?"

  "Go home, Anna," Toby scolded the younger girl as he wiped a bit of dried blood from under his nose before turning and heading into Norman`s house without an invitation. Anna stalked in after him, screaming.

  Norman just threw up his hands and followed the pair inside.

  "No, tell me what`s going on!"

  "Go home."

  Anna stopped short as she reached the kitchen. "Holy shit! Is that a dead body?"

  "No, it`s a fucking paperweight. Now go home."

  Norman could already see Anna wasn`t going to comply, she crossed her arms and glared at Toby`s back as he walked into the kitchen. He finally looked up at Anna and saw her sour mood. "Fine, you wanna help," he tossed his keys toward the startled girl and she barely managed to catch them. "Go bring my van around to the side of Norm`s."

  "What for?" she asked.

  Toby pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Just do it&please."

  "Fine, but you`re going to explain what`s going on."

  "Yeah, yeah, whatever, just go."

  Seeing as she got her way, she smiled and turned. "Hi, Norman," the girl said with an energetic wave as she rushed back out the broken front door.

  Norman could only half wave in reply.

  "You got a tarp?"

  "A tarp? What for? What the hell is going on, Toby? Who were those men?"

  "So we can wrap the body. Unless you want to leave it here to stink up your kitchen?"

  Norman looked at the body, then back at Toby. The man didn`t bother answering Norman`s other questions.

  "You`re not keeping the body Norm. This is for your own good. Look what your experiments have gotten you into already."

  Norman felt a rush of anger. "My experiments! I didn`t tell anyone but you. So if you wouldn`t have blabbed to some criminal thug, I wouldn`t be in this mess. And who is that guy anyway?"

  "Thomas Sin."

  "Sin, really?"

  "Look, you have a problem with his name, take that up with him. He runs the local bike club and they control about a third of the city`s illicit activity."

  "Bike club, you mean a biker gang? What the fuck were you thinking, telling a biker gang about me?"

  The man didn`t answer but Norman caught him glancing toward where Anna had gone.

  "What does this have to do with Anna?"

  "I warned you to stay away from my sister, dude. Now she won`t stop talking about the date you took her on or this fucking necklace you bought her. I told you she isn`t right in the head, what the fuck were you thinking buying her a fucking love necklace?"

  "That wasn`t a date, that was her going all fucking psycho on me and me trying to keep her calm and get her back home before she hurt herself. And we both know that elven magic shit doesn`t work for humans."

  "You`re just proving my point for me. Whatever, what`s done is done. You got a tarp or what?"

  "Yeah, I got a fucking tarp. You don`t need to be an asshole about it. This is mostly your fault anyway." Norman stomped past Toby and out the back door to the garage.

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