...gen-you-wine BobCo Dehydrated Moomoo farm! Use only with parental permission. Allow 4-12 hours for delivery! Trained praying mantis moomoo tenders included! Buy in the next 15 minutes and get a genuine P`Thok Chee-chee-chee-chia Pet! Operators are standing by!

　　Only from... BOOOOooooB-CO!

　　TREANA`AD HIVE WORLDS

　　Oh God, I want one so bad. All of me wants one! IT`S SO AMAZING!

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

　　So, a Chia-Pet is just a clay bust of P`Thok that you smear gel containing grass seeds on and it grows green grass like hair?

　　But that`s stupid, P`Thok didn`t have hair...

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　TREANA`AD HIVE WORLDS

　　YOU SHUT UP!

　　DAMMIT! WE`RE RUBBING OUR CREDIT CARDS ON THE SCREEN AND NOTHING IS HAPPENING!

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　AKLTAK SOARING WORLDS

　　Does he get like this every time he sees these commercials?

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　ALL> YES!

　　ALL> Laughs

　　PUBVIAN DOMINION

　　Wow.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　MANTID FREE WORLDS

　　What?

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　PUBVIAN DOMINION

　　So, like a half hour ago I sent people to check out the BobCo facility.

　　Apparently it`s operational.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　BIOLOGICAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

　　What?

　　It`s what?

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　PUBVIAN DOMINION

　　Apparently it`s up and running, producing toys right now.Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

　　The four LawSec and two government officials received gifts that they`re blasting all over social media right now.

　　The Treana`ad ambassador who arrived last week was just gifted a "Genuine BobCo Autonomous Animatronic Moomoo" by the BobCo AI. Not a digital sentience, an actual AI. The Ambassador is taking vids of him petting his Moomoo and having it do tricks. He`s lording it over every other Treana`ad in existence by posting it to the Smokey Cone diplomatic site.

　　The Treana`ad Matron in charge of the diplomatic team received a P`Thok ChiaPet, a fishtank full of Genuine Sea Monkeys, a Robotic Nanite Circus of Wonders, two minature RealMoomoos™, and a Genuine BobCo HoloHat.

　　She`s currently talking to the hive matrons on Smokey Cone wearing the Holohat and petting her minature moomoos on the video conference to the other matrons.

　　I think one is frothing at the mouth in envy.

　　I better get a hand on this before there`s a riot.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　TREANA`AD> SCREAMS IN FRUSTRATION

　　HAMAROOSA PINCHING CHAIN LETTER

　　Is he going to be like this every commercial?

　　He`s not going to have a stroke, is he?

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　DIGITAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

　　Wait, the BobCo AI is online?

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　TNVARU GRIPPING HANDS

　　I thought AI was a racial slur?

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　DIGITAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

　　It is. But the BobCo AI is... well... let`s just say it`s unique.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　MANTID FREE WORLDS

　　And homicidal.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　DIGITAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

　　Oh yes. Definitely homicidal.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　TREANA`AD HIVE WORLDS

　　OH MY GOD THE BOBCO SOLNET STOREFRONT WORKS!

　　SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

　　asdfasdfasdf7as9df79aspdufhasdkjfn nkjq234q8fa9sdfYAU(*&*&S^D*D&FYkaujshdjfahas

　　>USER TREANA`AD HIVE WORLDS HAS LEFT THE CHAT (SQUEE OUT OF RANGE)

　　CYBERNETIC ORGANISM COOPERATIVE

　　AHAHAHAHAHHA!

　　He crashed his interface.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　LEEBAW CONTEMPLATION POOL

　　Wait, if it`s homicidal, why isn`t anyone worried?

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　MANTID FREE WORLDS

　　Because technically it isn`t an AI or a Digital Sentience or even a digitized Terran.

　　It`s this weird blending of the two.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　CLONE WORLDS CONSORTIUM

　　Because Bob "Caveman" Johnson was a complete psycho.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　MANTID FREE WORLDS

　　Technically, he wasn`t a psychopath. He was just... over-imaginative with a lack of ethics and morals in some specific areas.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　CLONE WORLDS CONSORTIUM

　　Like combining Mantid and Terran DNA to create mantis-men supersoldiers to guard his toy shipments?

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　MANTID FREE WORLDS

　　Yeah, like that.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　TNVARU GRIPPING HANDS

　　That seems... psychotic.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　LEEBAW CONTEMPLATION POOL

　　He`s been gone for a while. Is he going to be OK?

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

　　He`s a little busy. The BobCo SolNet "Always Online™" store is so overloaded it`s actually reverted to a 2.5D storefront with limited interaction.

　　AHA!

　　They DO still sell Fantabulosa Pond Paddling No-Windup™ Squeaky Ducklings that sing over 100 duckling songs.

　　OUT OF STOCK!

　　Dammit, there was 1.2 million left when I read that out loud, now it`s "Temporarily Out of Stock".

　　Oh, hey, I get a free sixty four ounce container of BobCo Muscle-Max Ultra Sick Gains Powder for my trouble.

　　Score!

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

　　About that AI...

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　MANTID FREE WORLDS

　　It`s complicated. It`s a cross between programmed AI, one of the first baked hash shredded rainbow salted table genesis systems, and a neural recording of Bob Johnson himself all mushed together.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　PUBVIAN DOMINION

　　And just as crazy as the original Bob Johnson.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　MANTID FREE WORLDS

　　How can you tell? He`s a human. They`re all crazy.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　RRA S

　　an hear you out th

　　////

　　ROONALT N`KGEST

　　0773H??

　　-WOL-S-NOFOL-GNIT----

　　MANTID FREE WORLDS

　　Everyone settle down! We`ve got a new one.

　　---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

　　>TREANA`AD HIVE WORLDS (IT`S A BOBCO CHRISTMAS!) has logged on

　　MANTID FREE WORLDS

　　Come over here, sweety. Let big sister help you sort it out.

　　You can watch Tri-Vid with the rest of us.

　　N`KAROO MIND DATALINK GESTALT I/O SYSTEM BOOTSTRAP

　　um ok

　　///END OUTPUT AWAITING INPUT

　　we now return to How P`Thok Totally On Purpose and Not At All Accidentally Saved Christmas.