Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today -- Complete!

noct | satire | Complete

In a deadly cultivation world, the only way to survive is to play dead! Trucked in the middle of faking his death, Xiao Hui finds himself transported to a cultivation world and quickly acquires a powerful master and a high rank in his sect. There's just one problem: it's a cultivation world, and only the strong survive. As a weakling who recognizes his place in the world, Xiao Hui faces certain death. So why fight it? A silly cultivation novel about a clever disciple desperately faking his own death all the way to the top of the world! -- old blurb -- A silly cultivation novel about an airheaded master putting his foot in his mouth and his poor, clever disciple ducking the fall. In the midst of faking his death, Xiao Hui finds himself trucked and summarily reincarnated into a cultivation world. With great hopes for what is to come, he gets himself taken in by a sect and chosen by a powerful master, but his master seems to have a hole in his brain! What's a poor disciple to do? What Hui does best, of course! A xianxia comedy in the vein of A Will Eternal and Spirit Blade Mountain! [Volume 1 - 7 Complete] -Cultivation/progression fantasy -Neither grimdark nor fluffy, but interwoven with both silly and intense moments -Not your typical cultivation protagonist [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]

695.12 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-27 18:10

carl@fire

irony | satire | Complete

Hi,If you're receiving this message, I am unable to respond to your email.If this is an emergency, please contact Madhavaditya Sharma (adi.sharma) for immediate assistance, otherwise I will reply as soon as I'm able.Regards,CarlDirector of Information TechnologyPS. If you're reaching out from Engineering, please use the engineering-help@fire inbox to ensure proper handling of your request. The above message is intended solely for the named addressee and may contain trade secrets, industrial technology or privileged and confidential information otherwise protected under applicable law including the Uniform Trade Secret Act and Defend Trade Secrets Act. Any unauthorized dissemination, distribution, copying, or use of the information contained in this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender by email and delete this communication immediately.

491.99 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-27 17:44

Xianshi Inn (A contemporary Xianxia novel)

EgaoChan | satire | Complete

He left his home, unwillingly, to a realm of cultivation, Xianshu, mythical manuals and Dao. And now he's here due to a failed attempt at going home, a place bears a lot of resemblance but not the same. "At least it's close enough here. I'll get there on my next jump." Jianmen Yu said to himself, "But while I'm prepping, let me do my old job here for a bit." And there we have it, "Xianshi Inn", run by a cultivator, who's not of this world. Don't mess with it or its employees, the owner will kick your ass, no matter who you are, no matter WHAT you are. The full book of this novel is now available on Amazon, if you would like to support me and my work, head to Amazon and search "Xianshi Inn"! New book from Egao Chan "Poison City" is available and serializing! Check it out!

392.00 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-21 13:24

Trash Knight: System Recycler: A litRPG Satire that No One Asked For

Foxatal | satire | Complete

MISTAKES WERE MADE Obi Imsi enjoyed his life as an overpowered paladin tryhard filled to the brim with beautiful women who loved him unconditionally for all the wrong reasons. Everything was going great until he tried to woo the wrong one and was polymorphed into a literal trash can. Starting back at level 1, he must find someway to regain his power and hopefully return to his real body. He soon finds that his new life won't be easy, and he embarks a fantastic fantasy adventure that's so bad, it's good (terrible). Formerly known as Harem Trash, renamed due to disturbing lack of harem (crow harems don't count). Updates on weekends. Once the story is complete, it'll stay up for a few weeks until I take it off to put it on market.

132.54 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-27 17:17

The Isekai Police (aka "Earth's Advocates")

Vnator | satire | Complete

When evil kings summon kids from Earth to be used and abused as fast-leveling soldiers in their petty wars, the Isekai Police will be there to stop them. A group of ex-isekai protagonists in their own right, they utilize their collective skills to fight for the end of summoning abuse. Artyom Choi, cynical ex-hero and founding member of the organization, is sent to investigate the presence of an Earther on an innocently idyllic World where no summoning has supposedly taken place. His mission: rescue the Earther and figure out how he got there. Dark secrets lie beneath the surface of paradise, however. Will he be able to find this new hero and get out before whatever malicious forces brought them there doom them both? Book 1 has been finished! You can read Book 2 here in parallel or even before Book 1 if you want more TOAL than Artyom! https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/47708/the-isekai-police-hero-summonings-are-overrated This story is meant to be a deconstruction of the isekai genre that references and sometimes pokes fun at various tropes. Artyom isn't some kid whose goal is to amass Levels or a harem. In fact, all he cares about is protecting other Earthers, and won't let anything like that get in the way! So expect to see: -A mature main character who still has some flaws. -Character development over the course of the story. -No harems! (see last point) -A vibrant world full of interesting people, deep culture, and mysterious lore that gets uncovered as the story goes on. -Plenty of funny moments along the way! -The presence of a few cliched tropes and stereotypes only for the sake of poking fun at them. So step in, take the first leap, and uncover the next hot take on this expansive genre! My discord here: https://discord.gg/Zc8CHSrxVr

124.55 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-27 17:10

My Life is Not a Manga, or maybe...

EO Tenkey | satire | Complete

Xavier had a happy, humdrum life: normal friendships, a normal girlfriend, a somewhat oddball family. Until, that is, he literally stumbled through the fourth wall and discovered he was the protagonist of a manga. Now he's scrambling to maintain any semblance of control over his own life in the face of something he never imagined he would need to contend with: the power of the Genre. Hello, E.O. Tenkey here; thank you for your interest in "Not A Manga"! This was my first serial novel, and I hope you enjoy Xavier's predicament! Familiarity with manga not required (though it can't hurt)! I look forward to exploring the bounds of the Genre with you. (First volume is rated PG-13 for comic mayhem and light profanitythese are high school students, after all. Second volume is rated PG-13 to R for some violence and similar levels of profanity. Tags may or may not contain spoilers.)

82.77 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-13 16:10

Heroic Journey: 404

Grimtorn | satire | Complete

Are you ready to Embark on a Journey of sheer Wonderment? Then join us in the Fantasy world of Fanswald where our hero is finalizing his grand entrance into this brave new Realm. Don't forget our brilliant heroine Melly who will have to keep her wits about her to deal with this rather odd hero. Oblivious to the truth, Clemiticus will explore this new realm with open eyes and a closed mind. Join him as he battles the forces of bright-darkness and explores a new crazy world of epic fantasy! Will he change the future of this crazy land for the better?At least one thing's for sure, Fanswald will never be the same again.

72.36 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-27 17:15

Mary Susan Oceanrunner and the Brutus Saint's Academy

MachineCapybara | satire | Complete

Join Mary Susan Oceanrunner on her quest to do... erm... something really important for the world... probably... Ahem. Long gone are the days when every hero could do whatever they wanted - now, we are civilised. We have government. Law. And proper forms. Lots of proper forms. (Final episode 25/07/2022. Also - beta readers far into the book rate the 'gore' degree as below 2/10, so the warning is a bit much) Mary Susan Oceanrunner is a poor girl from the orphanage, who like many others before, has to fulfil her destiny. The prophecy had been told, and she is the only one who can make things right. Erm... probably. Anyway, she can't just go and kill monsters like in the middle ages. First, she must apply for the appropriate permissions, fill the forms, learn about the proper loot taxations... Hey, no one said adventuring would be easy, right? Disclaimers: No claim made by any character by the book should be treated as the author's or anyone else's opinion on any subject. Most likely, it was just the funniest thing the Author could think of at the time of writing. This book contains many references to other works. It will probably be best enjoyed by individuals familiar with at least some of the following: 1) Computer games2) Fantasy in general3) Science fiction4) Tabletop RPGs5) Conspiracy theories6) Corporation work life7) Long forgotten prophecies uttered millennia ago in almost as forgotten languages under a starless night three dusks before the great convergence8) Filling any government-mandated form9) School10) EnglishMy ultimate goal is to make as many people experience something akin to joy while reading (think ~a bit louder exhale through the nose). It doesn't mean every scene will be funny or joyful because that's not how this stuff works. I can neither confirm nor deny having any other hidden agenda outside of that. (11.01.2022 NEW COVER by Philippa_and_art. You can find her here: https://www.instagram.com/philippa_and_art/)

60.44 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:18

Colonial History

fsarbolaez | satire | Complete

[Full Title: The Colonial History of Tir-Torzor and Brief Accounts of Its Diasporas' Denizens] An alien scholar is sent by their institution to study, evaluate, and report on the colonial history of another galactic civilization known as the Apiary. There are only two planets under the Apiary's dominion: The empire's home world, Eas-Enerang, and Tir-Torzor, its sole colonized claim. This is the compiled historical records on the effects conquest has had over its native inhabitants. {Content Warning: This story is a work of satire involving some instances of foul language, xenophobia, violence, recalling assault, and allusions to historical atrocities and tragedies. Discretion is advised.} Visit https://ko-fi.com/choftt to support the story! Art for collage cover by Paul David London. Collage and artistic additions by F.S. Arbolaez.

58.20 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:24

Die, Dragon, Die!

noct | satire | Complete

A man who only wants to kill dragons. The only man who can save the world. A man... who might be the most obnoxious force in the entire universe. The adventures and misadventures of a man named Gideon. Die, dragon, die!

55.54 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-11 17:41

Sect Leader

Weavervale | satire | Complete

In the wake of an attack by a divine beast, the world blinked and transported Jessica Kim from Denver and her life as an accountant into the Sect of Coldsteel, replacing the now dead leadership. Can she get the support together to build the school back up and running while providing support to the refugees left by the divine beast? Will she be able to use her knowledge of the scientific method to improve the sects standing with local clans? Sect Leader came out on Mondays and Thursdays.

52.36 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-11 17:28

Dungeon Needs a Dad - Cozy Dungeon Progression / Found Family Adventure!

noct | satire | Complete

When a dungeon starts behaving strangely, aspiring Dungeon Keeper Aster steps in to unwind its troubles. After fighting his way through deadly monsters, he finds a young girl at the dungeon's heart--a young girl with a dungeon core. Stella has just lost her mother, and on top of that, only now discovered that she, in fact, is the one who should rightfully control the dungeon. Overwhelmed and grieving, she shuts out humans... but one human still breaks through. Together, Stella and Aster will find a compromise between human and dungeon, between the dark, monster-infested world beneath the earth and the bright, human-contaminated world above it. But first... "Hey, will you be my dad?" Spy X Family meets Dungeon Core! [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]

51.12 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-27 17:07

Playtime's Consequences

ulatekh | satire | Complete

The anarchist rioters and flaky deadbeats thought their juvenile rebellion had succeeded...until the grownups arrived. Then they sullenly realized playtime was over. I first released this novel in September 2021. Unsettlingly, it's only become more true since then. Available on Amazon. Master fiction list here.

43.97 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:18

Milton

BigMartyrs | satire | Complete

A Cyberpunk Coming of Age Tale The Apocalypse is ugly. The only lights that work are battery powered or neon. Scroungers kill your neighbors and take control of their bodies. Gang wars run rampant in the perpetual night, as usual, except now, most members have magical spells to defend their turf. Life certainly changed once the Rainbow Letters came. For Milton, things changed for the better. The world became familiar. He could find loot, learn skills, and equip weapons and armor. It was all much easier to understand than the perils of pre-Apocalypse life with its grocery shopping and going outside. Then he discovers Ragnarok, Orchestrator of the Rainbow Letters and all of Milton's problems. The race to figure out why is on. If Milton is to survive long enough to find answers, he must first be strong enough to confront his worst enemy: himself. * This is work in progress and NOT professionally edited. * ** This story is humorous in the begining, but gets very dark around the turning point. Reader discretion is advised.**

38.11 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-13 16:10

Exorcism 101: Where Love can Cure Ghost Possession

Reito Kazehaya | satire | Complete

Exorcists are human beings who can get rid of curses given by restless ghosts to normal human beings. If a human received a curse, his or her heart will stop beating. That is why an exorcist needs to get rid of the curse by inducing emotions that can make their heart beat again. There are two ways to save a victim and one of those is by the means of...love.

33.72 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:13

Conspiracyland

BoredCanary | satire | Complete

A hardened full-time conspiracy theorist, Jones, finds himself in a timeline where everything seems to have gone wrong. Armed with the knowledge of a veteran internet shitposter and the power of paranoia, he sets out to break the conditioning. Join our heroes as they traverse an absurd world filled with mutant lizardmen, ufos, and nefarious secret organizations.

33.22 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:20

Fertilizer Wars

Krake | satire | Complete

[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge] The year is 2202. Pandemics, apocalypses, demons, and nuclear war have ravaged the planet. Climate change has become nearly random. Forests have become desert. Tundra has become rain forest. The Amazon is infested with monsters. The world is split in a super power dipole in name only. The ten billion humans left on Earth follow whoever is closest at hand that can feed them. Special Operative Iris Haber has become one of "America"s most important war assets : a human capable of entering radiation zones. The only organic parts of her left are her brain and her heart, easily shielded. The only land that matters anymore is farm land, and the only people who matter are the ones able to capture that farm land.

31.59 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:17

The Official Douche Bag Travel Guide of Chad Barrington

PJ_Lowry | satire | Complete

After having a tantrum in court that lands him in contempt, Chad Barrington is forced to seek counseling and take two months off. Unable to work, this top notch lawyer decides to go on vacation and sooth his battered ego. Chad quickly learns that it's possible to be a total Douche in paradise as well...

30.43 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:20

Of Plots & Peepers (Tales of the Axe Book 1)

Ralts Bloodthorne | satire | Complete

Fraker the Axe is many things: The Herald of Carnage, the Favored Son, He Who Cannot Be Bound. But those are the names he is called in prophecy, legend, and heroic epics. The reality is somewhat different.

26.31 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-13 17:03

Noblesse Oblige

Urikson | satire | Complete

24 hours. 10 bidders. 1 winner. A Princess from Earth is invited to an auction on a distant planetoid only to learn that she's the item on sale. Her foes include: a Chinese space pirate, a Russian duelist, a Japanese high-tech samurai, a Venusian mafiosi, two expert French poisoners, a floating Swiss banker, a German Baron with more ties to her family than she can imagine, and a British gentleman who also happens to be a pterodactyl. Her arsenal consists of: vague memories from classes she mostly slept through, a pile of gadgets for which she's never read the user manual, excellent table manners, and a ferret who's loyal to a fault. This will not be easy. Hey, so since the novel was published by WordFire press, I can't leave the whole thing online. You can get the whole thing here though. There's even an audiobook. If you read it on RR, a short Amazon review will be really appreciated. It helps a lot! Also, my second novel is here in full. It's a litRPG about a dwarf paladin who really, really wants to get a domain of her own...

25.19 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:17