B. A. Baker (Thedude3445) | satire | Complete
The most underrated character of Tower of Somnus finally gets his due: Hear Arnold Jacques's side of the events for the first time ever. Read a story about how the world's nicest guy tried to win over the world's hottest girl by buying a hundred thousand dollar video game from space.
9.48 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-11 17:18
Commander Kane | satire | Complete
Since the times of old, the Six Towers of Valdir have stood tall in their respective kingdoms. Always, it is has been six. Six Managers, six Cores, six hoards of treasure. But times are changing. The fearsome Managers that history has come to know, hate, and respect, all the same, are about to get a new Manager in their ranks. They await to see who governs the seventh Tower on the banks of the Yearning sea, just as the adventurers, kings, and peasants alike are trembling with dreadful anticipation. Some want a newbie who's worth the extra space, while others want someone who'll keep with the status quo. Instead, they got Kevin. ~Expect an update on a Friday~
11.02 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:16
Ralts Bloodthorne | satire | Complete
Fraker the Axe is many things: The Herald of Carnage, the Favored Son, He Who Cannot Be Bound. But those are the names he is called in prophecy, legend, and heroic epics. The reality is somewhat different.
26.31 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-13 17:03
24 hours. 10 bidders. 1 winner. A Princess from Earth is invited to an auction on a distant planetoid only to learn that she's the item on sale. Her foes include: a Chinese space pirate, a Russian duelist, a Japanese high-tech samurai, a Venusian mafiosi, two expert French poisoners, a floating Swiss banker, a German Baron with more ties to her family than she can imagine, and a British gentleman who also happens to be a pterodactyl. Her arsenal consists of: vague memories from classes she mostly slept through, a pile of gadgets for which she's never read the user manual, excellent table manners, and a ferret who's loyal to a fault. This will not be easy. Hey, so since the novel was published by WordFire press, I can't leave the whole thing online. You can get the whole thing here though. There's even an audiobook. If you read it on RR, a short Amazon review will be really appreciated. It helps a lot! Also, my second novel is here in full. It's a litRPG about a dwarf paladin who really, really wants to get a domain of her own...
25.19 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:17
Even aliens have legal troubles. Whenever an intergalactic being runs into trouble on earth, Lord Farkvold, the High Councilman of the Planets of Slatt, contacts Earth attorneys Marsh and Henry to help extra-terrestrials avoid unwanted attention and jail.
7.58 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:18
TrafficButter | satire | Complete
He died, as all things do. He got combusted, as all things do. He became part of the air, as all things do. He got absorbed by some flora, as all things do. He got eaten, and he's a bull again& As all things do, right? After his sentience whirled around some abstract cycle, Triple-A now attempts to live peacefully, undergoing conversion and transformation as his mind exceeds that of simple herd behavior. He went from wanting to let the grass grow under his feet to undergoing an existential crisis regarding life and death; he needed to squash this beef. Uploads daily at 8:48am EST
2.32 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:13
Goreblaster - a beefcake whose prime ingredient is over-the-top monster slaying, topped off with the delicate frosting of the desperate need for validation and adoration. Under the (mostly) helpful guidance of his hapless assistant slash manager, Percy, the pair turned his natural skills (and incredibly unrealistic physique) into a career of seemingly unending foe-crushing-heroics. Goreblaster is a series of short stories (~10k words each) following the exploits of the barbarian and is a pulp trash novel by intention! Full of questionable uses of the written language and some satire of the fantasy genre. (Think Conan x Dangermouse x a stale cheese sandwich). It is also a meta-fiction within my usual Deathforged universe - a seemingly unending series of unpublished pulp novellas of no known author, the various handwritten tomes having been found all across the world of Othea over several decades.
18.84 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:16
I just found a silly little thing I wrote in 2010 about the year 2022. Thought I'd share it here :)
0.52 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:15
B. A. Baker (Thedude3445) | satire | Complete
The Soul Palace System has ruled the world of Wuweizi for countless eons, but there is a new magic afoot--or should we say, avine. Xi Gua Lao, an aspiring daoist, embarks on an adventure that leads him to an up close and personal encounter with the one thing he never expected: Vine Waifus. Vine Waifu created with Artbreeder. Cover by me. Audiobook narration by Kgy121. Read other Vines: Chaos Vines OnlineVINAL FANTASYVines: A Short StoryThe Vines of Bramblekeep When Immortal Ascension Fails Divine Thorns
20.78 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:15
A drunk guy has a conversation with a cat. Parody of The Raven by that famous poet dude. A short poem.
0.64 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:12
Pillage Your Village | satire | Complete
A young man by the name of Otto Von Peter wakes up on a chilly morning as a beef patty. His life is forever changed, especially after he is bestowed cheese. He must attempt to gain levels in order to survive and traverse the human body. How will he survive? Will his friends help him? Is there a way out? Only time will tell.
2.26 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:14
kylebstiff | satire | Complete
In a future of bottomline-oriented global megacorporations, some people have chosen to have their Creature removed. Once you have your Creature removed, life becomes a breeze. You can clock in, do your job, and clock out without any problems. Meanwhile, your Creature can party like an animal, stumbling through the streets, getting into fights, and humping anything that moves. It's a win-win situation! Except sometimes& sometimes Creatures go rogue. This is a COMPLETE story, one hundred percent finished.
2.90 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:15
Keira Reynolds | satire | Complete
Xander was paranoid and delusional, and Dr Tyler was doing everything she could to help him. Or was he? And was she?
0.29 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-22 09:35
Gatta Darya | satire | Complete
First short story of the ThReeee Sentences Story serie by 2 people writing 3 sentences in turns live. P.S. It is a satire, don't take it too seriously.
1.45 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-27 12:12
DragonOfRochester | satire | Complete
One author decides to become a dick. The others band together and decide not to play. Then the System Armageddon happens.
5.19 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-27 17:08
fsarbolaez | satire | Complete
A new island rises off the coast after a major earthquake. Soon, small valuable gems are discovered, while the civilians and government begin coming into conflict with one another. However, something primordial stirs deep within the land and under the waves. (Content Warning: Contains foul language, violence, gore, xenophobia, traumatic experience, and moments of allusions to assault, self-harm, and harm ideation)
9.55 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:15
TealiciousTea | satire | Complete
The first chapter is based on a short story originally written by Robert Walzer in 1914, and translated by Christopher Middleton. It is a retelling for 2021 or the "long 2020" by me. The following chapters are originals by myself.
0.83 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:14
HungryVisitor | satire | Complete
Bobby was a normal child - until his parents decided to improve his future chances with bleeding edge technology.
9.22 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-22 09:38
"I am Universeman! My left eye shines like the sun and my right eye glows like the moon! The death star is the core of my heart and the black hole is boiling inside my stomach!" A story with only dialogue and dialogue tags! LET'S GO!
2.11 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-22 09:36
Basil wants to propose to Della. But Gemma won't let the two of them be alone. Then Basil's friend starts a fight with Gemma's husband. And nobody can work out who Wanda really is. It's a night doomed to be a total disaster, but in the middle of it something magical happens: one perfect moment that they will all long remember.
2.72 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-22 09:35