My black dress fluttered in the icy wind, and I couldn`t bring myself to cry again. Too many times in the last couple days it had happened, too many times had I felt tears fall. As the tomb was closed I just couldn`t, it was too much.

　　Ulanion had fallen, not to some enemy, or some monster, but to the one thing that wouldn`t be denied to those with human blood, age. He`d outlived so many that I almost couldn`t believe it, he`d seemed immortal, but he wasn`t.

　　Before I could fall too deeply into thought once again a hand touched my shoulder. With a small, sad smile Rodrick helped me, his sister joining him in leading me back to the school, the fortress, my home.

　　Even looking at them brought up dark thoughts, would I bury them too? My attempts to wage war on my own age had been more successful year by year. Time was still coming for me, but at a snail`s pace. These days my little Illa looked like my mother, not the other way around. Her hair was graying, her brother also sporting a salt and pepper look himself.

　　It seemed that all of the people I knew were dying, each year causing me to lose more and more of my friends. I even found it harder to make new ones as I aged, the pain of loss hardening me bit by bit.

　　There were a few ceremonies over the day, a few moments where people wanted to talk, or see how I was, or something else that I had a hard time caring about. Most of them were dissuaded when it became clear that I wanted them gone. When the last had left I almost went to bed, but even that seemed hollow.Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

　　So instead I went to my lab, here I could visit the one man I socialized with that I doubted I would outlive. Over the years I`d tried to do so more, even if he was almost as prickly as I felt now.

　　Justin joined me soon after I stepped through the gateway, gave me one look, and sighed.

　　"I`ll get something stronger than tea then," he said as we went to his sitting room.

　　"How`d you know?" I asked.

　　"Other than the solid black dress? You look horrible Alana." The ancient king handed me a glass of some liquor, the amber fluid giving off a powerful if smokey smell.

　　"How do you, how do you deal with it?" I inquired, begging him for an answer that I didn`t have.

　　"Alana, I live alone in the middle of nowhere, barely talking to anyone else. If there`s anyone less qualified to tell you how to handle grief, I`d like to meet him." There was another sigh, and in his eyes I could see it, see the pain of millennia. "I think it`s worse for us though, and maybe better too. My memories don`t fade. I see lost loved ones in my mind as clearly as if I were looking at them now, remember every conversation like watching a movie, every good word, every angry one, every fight and hug and tear."

　　"I want to just lay down and die," I admitted. "Let it all go."

　　"I`ve been there too you know, but I don`t think they`d want us to."

　　"They`re gone, so we can`t well ask."

　　"Not here, but gone? Come on, you and I both know that dying doesn`t have to be the end. I don`t believe in suicide, think it`s wrong, but it`s hard to fear death when you`ve already been through it. Perhaps we`ll meet them again on the other side, perhaps not, but I don`t think those I`ve lost would want me to die, and I don`t think those you have would either." He was right, and I sort of hated that.

　　"So what do I do?"

　　"Start with finishing your drink. Then why don`t you tell me about those you`ve lost." That seemed as good a suggestion as any.