Home Genre comedy Isekai Speedrunner: A LitRPG Parody [November 2023 Writathon Participant]

Chapter 12: The Guilds of Rigatoni

  The Adventurers` guild hall now stands before us on the northern outskirts of town - not as large as the central administration building, but by far the most elaborately decorated structure in Rigatoni. Elaborate relief adorned the mudbrick facade, depicting epic battles of man against monster. An eight-pointed star emblazoned upon the structure`s thick, wooden double door serves as the insigne for the Adventurer`s guild.

  According to LSO`s in-game encyclopedia, the guilds see themselves as the beacons of commerce and economic development across the continent since their establishment a millennium ago, though today, they are found in all major inhabited areas on Aravia, not just the kingdom of Bolognese and the satellite principalities which comprise its largest continent. Among the various guilds - trade guilds, merchant guilds, and so forth - the adventurers` guild takes particular pride in its role as the defender of civilization`. While the military and local militia forces defend the inhabited portions of the continent, it is adventurers who delve into the more dangerous, chaotic wilds - the vast, unexplored caves and forests and similar dungeons, seeking out and hunting down the more dangerous creatures which might one day threaten humanity.

  We enter the hall to little fanfare - it`s almost eerie how little attention any of the handful of people sitting around the main foyer pay attention to us. There`s truly a mix of all kinds - one reminiscent of your stereotypical tavern brawler` archetype: gruff, irritable, muscular, a dour look on his face as his eyes gaze over a glass of some rank booze or another. Another is an older-looking lady, face full of wrinkles, though if I had to guess, she`s a patron seeking a guild assignment, not a member herself. And over to my left is some woman with long, flowing teal hair, moving of its own will. I`ve never seen her before, either in the game or anywhere else, but the mere sight of her sends a shiver down my spine, as though her mere presence demands attention. Demands respect, more accurately.

  She smiles as she gets up and walks toward us. A part of me shudders, wanting desperately to be somewhere, anywhere but here, but my feet remain glued to the ground, as though they know that any attempts to run or hide are wasted effort. Though she only bows slightly as she walks past, back outside, a cool, refreshing yet ominous breeze trailing her.

  "Are- are you okay?" Sammy asks.

  I struggle to still my racing heart and quell my trepidatious breathing before answering. "There`s something about that woman. Something very ominous. Let us hope the day we cross swords never comes."

  "Is she that strong?"

  I speak in a whisper. "I- I don`t know how I know this, but if she wanted to conquer the entire kingdom of Bolognese& no, all of Aravia, and rule it as a tyrant, I have no doubt she would be successful." She`s definitely level 255, the maximum. At least. My thoughts wander back to my recent death and reincarnation. Could there be others like me? Could she be like me? Another offworlder, brought here against her will? What secrets about this world does she know? Just who is she?

  "Ash, please, if there`s something I can do to help, I want you to ask."

  The overwhelming presence from that woman finally subsides and I regain full control of my muscles, shaking a bit to confirm that, yes, I can move. I turn to Sammy and nod.

  "Did you not feel anything around her?"

  "No, nothing out of the ordinary," Sammy replies.

  "There`s probably nothing we can do for now anyway. Let`s just do what we came here to do." We turn to each other, share a nod, and head up to the front desk where a young lady, a little homely yet still cute with her dark brown hair, greets the two of us."

  "Why hello, you two," she says in a drawly accent right at home in the South. "Y`all here to request a guild assignment? If so, I`m gonna need you to fill out this here form and then get it back to me along with the offered reward."

  "No," I say. "We actually came to apply for guild membership."

  "Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we can`t just go on accepting any ol` person who comes in requesting to join us. You`ll need to mosey on down to the Capital and apply for formal admission after taking the preliminary exams.

  I slide the letter from Mayor Rozziari on the counter between us. "I understand that is the typical guild protocol. However, after our efforts in combating the troll menace from three nights ago, the Mayor gave us this letter of introduction. We were hoping to use our success in slaying the troll boss of the Minestrone Mines in lieu of a formal guild preliminary exam. I know that it`s a bit unconventional, but we`re hoping the guildmaster would make an exception."

  "Well, ain`t that something. I heard that there were a couple of pretty girls who made a bit of a show in taking down some of the trolls, but I didn`t realize it was the two of y`all! And they were right, the two of y`all really are pretty little things!"

  Sammy and I turn to each other, blush, and look away.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it`s taken without the author`s consent. Report it.

  "Oh come now darlings, that was a compliment. Listen, I`m gonna have to get the headmaster down here, which`ll take just a spell or three, but y`all can make yourselves at home out here while you`re waiting, alright?"

  We nod and take a seat while the receptionist walks to the back. Another young lady stops by and asks if we`d like something to drink. Both of us decide to stick with water, and a moment later, a glass arrives for the both of us.

  My thoughts rush back to that mysterious woman from earlier, desperately scanning everything I can think of about the game`s bonus bosses. But there`s nothing - no records of this character, and my neck and palms break out into a cold sweat. The only small comfort is that she didn`t show us any hostility. She`s not an enemy. I hope.

  The drawly voice of the receptionist pulls me out of my anxiety spiral, and the two of us head back to the front desk. We`re greeted by the same receptionist, now joined with the most stereotypical guild leader imaginable. Tall, wizened as hell, robes of dark blue, all the gray hair once on his head now migrated to a beard that would make Saint Nick himself look on in awe. He exudes an aura of magical energy, strong, though nowhere near what that woman earlier was sloughing off, as he greets the two of us.

  "Miss Lancaster, Miss Relford," he says, "My name is Rezario, Guildmaster for the Rigatoni Branch of the Aravian Adventurers` Guild.. I have read the introduction letter from Mayor Rozziari. Let me start by first expressing my appreciation to the both of you. During the attack the other night, many of our finest guild members were away attending to other matters, and it is thanks to the both of you that casualties were kept to a minimum.

  "As for the matter of your request. Unfortunately, I cannot formally acquiesce to granting formal membership status due to, shall we say, guild politicking. However, I can grant the two of you a writ of cooperation for the greater Rigatoni area. While the two of you would not be formally recognized by the guild at large, you would be free to work on assignment through the Rigatoni branch, provided that you abide by the same rules and regulations as full members."

  "Rules?" Sammy asks, though the way she looks at me, I`m not sure whether she`s asking me or him. Although I could speculate, I decline and let the guildmaster answer.

  "Yes, young miss. In order to ensure the integrity of guild missions, members agree to a set of rules. Among them, members agree not to take on outside assignments without guild leave. No doubt your companion was aware of such a rule, given that the mayor`s office had spent considerable effort and expense to see that your expedition earlier today was conducted under guild auspices. And, by assigning tasks to guild members who accept such missions and policing members who& get out of hand, we reduce the risk of adventurers fighting amongst each other over lucrative opportunities. Naturally, that does not apply in the case of an imminent threat to the health and safety of civilians, as was the case during the troll attack three days ago."

  Ultimately, though it will be annoying to still have to formally apply for full membership later, the particular assignment I want to undertake is in the Rigatoni area, so the terms are acceptable. Best not to push the good fortune I`ve already been granted, lest I throw the overall plot further out of whack and destabilize everything I know.

  "Considering the circumstances," I say, "I find the terms acceptable. With that said, might we inquire as to the available assignments?"

  "Of course. I will have your guest cards made shortly. Carina here can assist you with the administrative matters and accepting assignments. If there is nothing else which demands my attention, I shall take my leave."

  Guildmaster Rezario bows slightly before returning to the back, and Carina smiles as she takes her normal spot behind the counter. Her smile is quite radiant, though nothing compares to Sammy`s, of course.

  "Now then, here`s the list of assignments, the rewards being offered, along with our best estimate of what level you should be looking to be before undertaking the mission. In rare cases, the guild may offer additional compensation for completing certain missions. Generally, this is for particularly vicious and notorious creatures, and often those hunts are reserved for our most experienced adventurers."

  I pay only cursory attention to Carina`s explanations - I`ve heard them hundreds of times before in game. Thumbing through the pages of the codex, I see several different assignments. Some cute - Help: Giant Chicken stole eggs needed for grandmother`s birthday cake!", and some absolutely terrifying, especially at our level, such as this one: Livestock kidnapped by enormous bird: Please slay!` Maybe in like& sixty levels. And with much better gear.

  It doesn`t take long to find it - "Help: My cat is missing! Please help find him!". The handwriting is rough and whimsical, written by a young girl whose cat, Mr. Fluff, went missing in a nearby forest. Nothing particularly dangerous - the mission ends up not being taken by anyone else because the reward is too low` to attract anyone`s interest. Three shiny rocks. Or, unbeknownst to anyone but me, three units of orichalcum ore, which will be put to extremely good use once we get to the capital. With a smile, a devilish grin on my face, I pull the scribbled note on the table and make my request.

  "Oh, Ash? Do you have a soft spot for children and cats?"

  I smile. "A little bit, yes. Though, I have an inkling that the reward for this assignment is a little bit better than it appears."

  "Well, I know I can trust you with these hunches.` Shall we?"

  It takes a couple minutes to formally approve the paperwork, but after we do so, we receive the girl`s contact information and prepare to depart. As Sammy turns toward the door, I go back to Carina, leaning on the counter and speaking in a whisper.

  "I have one question, if you don`t mind," I say. "That woman who left just as the two of us got here. Do you know anything about who she is?"

  Carina shakes her head. "You know I can`t share information about other guild members without their consent. Professional courtesy and all that. Though, even if that weren`t the case, I actually don`t know anything about her. She never gave us a name, never accepts any rewards, just takes on whatever missions suit her fancy. Usually those involving extremely strong monsters. Never works with anyone else. And always succeeds in every mission."

  "Thank you, Carina. That confirms a few things."

  I offer her a handshake, though Sammy is grabbing me by the shoulder and pulling me off before she has a chance to reciprocate. Sammy`s face is quite perturbed and I think I see the faintest hints of smoke trailing out of her ears and nostrils. And her grip hurts, her thumbs and fingers nearly piercing my flesh even through my tunic. I need some better armor. And to figure out what the hell I did to make her so angry!

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