The road from Penne to Rigatoni is quiet and peaceful, as expected. The southerly breeze at our backs is invigorating, and as the sun peeks out from behind one of the handful of clouds high overhead, a warm glow envelops me and spurs me onward. In some ways, the scenery reminds me of large parks back on Earth, with a handful of people heading in either direction, most by foot, a few by carriage or horseback. Though, nothing can compare to the fresh scent of the air untouched by the pollution of industrialized society.

　　A couple of small monsters stray alongside the path. Beyond the simple jellies from yesterday are a couple of dog-sized lizards along with a couple of creatures that look rather like giant toothy rabbits. A little frightening to look at, especially if it`s your first time seeing them, but thankfully not much more harmful than most small wildlife.

　　Our tracks are stopped by a loud squawk high overhead, and as we turn overhead, the sky briefly dims as a giant bird occludes the sun. Its feathers seem to glow of an internal light, gold and red and iridescently refracting the entire rainbow within its plumage, an imposing majesty whose weight and beauty weigh down upon me.

　　The legendary king of phoenixes. "Xathaian Imperii," I mutter.

　　"Xathi& what?"

　　"I& I don`t know. Seeing that creature high overhead must have dazed me, and I must have muttered some nonsense or another." A lie - Xathaian Imperii is one of LSO`s superbosses. According to the in-game lore, it is one of the primordials, the first beings created by the goddess soon after she crafted the physical universe itself. Whether or not this is true or fabricated is irrelevant - it is, without a doubt, a majestic overwhelming being that has earned its title through strength if not age. I shudder, thinking back to facing it - even with my decades of experience playing the game and knowing the strategies and techniques, I still sometimes have game overs on that jerk. Fortunately, this is the only time it`s ever encountered in the main story, or I`d be way less confident about our success.

　　"We should go," I say, desperate to take my mind off the creature before I have a full mental break. Sammy, for her part, seems unfazed about the situation, and I don`t want to fill her with trepidation right as our adventure is getting underway. Thankfully, I`ve found something a little more appropriate for the start of our adventure as a giant crow lands a few paces away. The perfect monster to start us on our adventure, especially given they are so rare in this part of the continent.

　　I chuck one of my strawberries at the bird - from a certain perspective, it looks rather cute with its rich ebon plumage. But that matters little as my provocation is successful and it engages us in combat. A wave of feathers flies toward us, and I rush in front of Sammy to tank its attack, gritting from a dozen needlelike feathers puncturing my skin. Thankfully, the wounds are mostly superficial, stinging little more than a vaccine syringe.

　　12 Hits

　　18 Damage

　　HP:

　　141/159

　　Perfect. I draw my sword and take a defensive stance, ensuring that I`m prepared to intercept any attack aimed at Sammy. As expected from the creature, it jumps up and readies a second volley, and I rush in, taking as many hits as I can.

　　14 Hits

　　20 Damage

　　HP:

　　121/159

　　"Are you okay, Ash?" Sammy asks.

　　"It just stings a bit, that`s all." I say. The bird relents for a moment and I rush in my inventory and pull out a strawberry to munch on.

　　Strawberry

　　A common fruit which grows in most temperate climates. Restores 10% Max + 20 HP

　　As I stand here, eating a strawberry as this bird launches a third volley of feathers at me, I realize two things. First, that I look incredibly foolish stopping for a snack in the middle of a battle. And second, there`s really no reason why eating berries should have any healing benefit. But as a wise person once said: Video game logic: don`t question it.` I continue defending as the fourth and fifth volleys land and I eat a second pair of strawberries to keep my health near maximum.

　　"Are you going to fight back?" Sammy asks. "Do you need me to blast it?"

　　"No, this fight is going exactly as I`ve planned." I grimace as the next wave of feathers make impact, and drop to my knees in pain before forcing myself back up. Another thing you don`t realize on the other side of that television screen - the characters might not be in any danger of a game over, but that doesn`t mean these attacks don`t hurt like hell. Though, the seventh volley hardly scratches my skin - finally, my pain has been rewarded with gains. A glance at my status confirms it.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

　　Defense

　　12 � 19

　　It was an experimental feature in LSO, allowing you to train your individual combat parameters, though it was pretty hated among the community. The most common complaint I heard online was that the mechanic rewards being bad at the game`, and I can sympathize with the argument. Though, as a speedrunner, my objective is simply to play the game to the best of my ability, and if that means I have to be bad at the game to beat it quickly, then you better believe I`m going to put my all into figuring out how to be the worst player the world has ever known! Well, I guess the world` is a bit of a misnomer now.

　　The eighth and ninth volleys barely scratch me, and the tenth is completely ineffective. Realizing I`ve gained all I`m going to get out of this fight, I charge forward, and with a single slice, convert my corvid combatant into a crowsicle.

　　"So& I`m confused," Sammy says after a momentary pause. "You could have done that at any time, correct?"

　　I nod.

　　"Let me guess. This is another one of those weird things you`re going to do that make no sense to anyone with half a brain, but which you insist are necessary for our adventure? You don`t have to answer that, Ash." Sammy sighs. "I`m guessing you`re going to ask me to start punching you in the face next?"

　　Honestly, it`s not a bad idea from an optimization perspective, though there are two problems. First, given LSO`s combat system doesn`t actually allow you to attack allies without some convoluted glitches, and those often lead to game crashes. And second - more importantly - I don`t think she`d do so even if I ask her to; she seems almost as hurt as I am. Still, it`s an idea to consider at a later time. For now&

　　"Ow!" I say as I begin plucking myself. Strangely enough, they hurt even more coming out than in, and after stabbing myself with one of the feathers, I hypothesize why. Apparently, combat parameters in this world only matter when engaged in battle with hostiles. Even if you had infinite defense, it wouldn`t stop you from feeling pain or sustaining injuries outside of combat. Mostly relevant for hazards, though it also applies to cutscenes and other similar interactions.

　　"I really wish you would stop hurting yourself, Ash. I know, I know, you have your reasons for this, but that doesn`t make it any less painful to watch." Sammy pulls out a pair of feathers on my right arm and gently rubs it. As far as I`m aware, she shouldn`t have any healing capabilities for a few more levels, but the pain still subsides on its own. With a deep breath to calm my nerves and quell my adrenaline, I turn to her.

　　"Thanks, Sammy." I pause. "And, I`m sorry. I didn`t realize that you would be so upset with my intentionally taking some damage in a fight."

　　"You`re pretty stupid, you know!" Sammy says, swinging toward me and narrowly missing my face. "Like, you might be doing asinine, hare-brained things for reasons so complex that three months from now, you`re going to be gloating as you reveal your thirty-step master plans. But when it comes to understanding how others feel, you`re a total moron!"

　　I freeze in shock as the words hit like a bolt out of the blue. She`s not wrong - I do often struggle with relating to people on an emotional level. It`s part of the reason I became so engrossed with video games in the first place. At their root level, they`re just a system of logic circuits - do one thing, get a certain outcome. And this can be systematized and repeated among multiple playthroughs. At its core, that`s all speedrunning is - trying to figure out the best combination of inputs to press to reach the end of the game as quickly as possible. But dealing with real-life people with thoughts and emotions of their own is a battle I`ve never been skilled in.

　　I can only lower my head in shame. "You`re right. I am. More than you can possibly know."

　　"Well, then I know what we`re going to do the rest of the afternoon. I am going to properly educate you in making conversation. And there will be no discussions on this. Have I made myself quite clear?"

　　I shudder back. This isn`t how Sammy acts in the game, especially not this early. She was always so demure, barely able to say more than a few words to the protagonist until she matures and is forced to confront her inner fears near the mid-game climax. But here she is, taking charge of the conversation just like she does in-game when her character arc is complete.

　　Uneasiness sets hold and a lingering fear takes root - why did this part of the game change so much from the original? And if this changed, what else has changed? Did my being here irreversibly set this world on a path different from the one I know? Dammit - this was supposed to be so easy with my knowledge of exactly how this world works, but if there`s some sort of divergence so soon&

　　"Ash! When I ask if I`ve made myself clear, do not just stare off into space daydreaming. I expect an answer and I expect it in short order!"

　　Egad, what is she? The progeny of my mother with the most stick-in-the-ass drill sergeant parody imaginable? Is she going to demand I drop down and give her push-ups next? Actually, scratch that, with what I know of her father, I best not chance it!

　　"Ye- Yes, Sammy." I force the words out. "You`ve made yourself clear."

　　Her scowl turns to a smile and my insides melt with delight as we continue on the road, with no trouble from monsters, bandits, or other adventuring woes.

　　The sun is dipping below the nearby mountain range to the west by the time we approach the outskirts of Rigatoni and my nose fills with the scent of oil and grime. Rigatoni is a mining town in southwest Bolognese, built into the side of Mt. Minestrone. Mostly coal for smelting historically, though the town has recently seen an influx of new growth after a vein of copper was found deep in the mines about eight years ago. If that were all, there`d be no real plot significance. No, the issue here is cave trolls. Nasty buggers. But that`s a problem for tomorrow. Right now it`s time for some food that isn`t strawberries, and then a nice night`s sleep after a full day of travel.