Only One Latrine
"Fred, this stone is too cold," Martin announced. Fred saw him lying on top of his tower in the darkness.
"Okay, I knew it would take some adjusting. I`ll double the heat, okay?"
"That will be acceptable," Martin replied. Fred thought that that was probably as close to a thank you as Martin would give him. He shrugged to himself, and made the change to the heat output underneath Martin.
As Martin lounged around on his tower, Kumbanaka was out amongst the humans, presumably pumping them for information, wearing one of an infinite number of magical disguises. Thinking of disguises made Fred think about demon infiltrators, so he began the tedious search for them throughout the large number of humans in and around the town. Well, it wasn`t that hard. It was like looking over a crowd of people, trying to spot an orange shirt. Your eye would naturally lock onto it when you saw it, but until then you were forced to stare at entirely too many things of all different colors.
That`s how Fred felt about it, anyway. He looked and looked, though each tower, through the Healing Temple, over the town, and out into the encampment beyond the Town Wall. And after what seemed like an hour of observing, he still hadn`t found a single secret demon. "Huh. Did they stop trying?" Fred wondered.
During this time, Fred heard from Michael (but not Virginia) via the deep drums. Michael did a weather report, and boasted of another new creature that had joined him. Fred couldn`t make out what sort of creature it was; Michael just called it a dangerous-big-slimy-fast-poisonous thing with fifty legs. Fred thought that perhaps he didn`t want to know the specifics. The beast sounded nasty.
Fred drummed back. He talked about how many new humans were showing up in his town. He talked about how he didn`t have any demon infiltrators in his town. He talked about how to spot them (though he assumed that they already learned from Jim). He talked about how he dropped them in a hole and squeezed them til they exploded. Again mindful of who might be listening, he didn`t talk about how the demon blood seemed to block his magic. He also didn`t talk about the priests in the Forest Temple, or the big fight Kumbanaka and Martin had had.
After the drums, Fred decided to make a wide check of his domain. Such a check was taking longer than ever, since his domain was bigger. But he wanted to check the empty plain south of his town carefully, to make sure no one was sneaking in. In turn this reminded him that he hadn`t stretched his domain out to the north. So, with nothing else to do, he started. As normal, he dug a radial set of very small tunnels northward from his domain, adding more tunnels as necessary to reveal all of the landscape.
Like the southern area he`d annexed, he didn`t see any buildings or humans or anything. Just trees and grass. Unlike previously, he was expanding in a wide arc, so it wasn`t very quick, and required a lot of his attention. In the south, he`d expanded more than two thousand spans, so that was his target in this northerly expansion. And it took half the night. But it finally paid off in a huge way.
Fred found a river. Well, a swiftly running underground stream. He wasn`t looking too deeply into the earth, but the stream was very close to the surface. The plant life reflected it, with trees and bushes in a big line running down the slope, following the course of the stream. "Jackpot!" thought Fred. "I`ve never seen so much water! Well, I mean, in this life."
As soon as he found it, Fred began scheming about how to redirect it so he could use the water in his town. But before he got too deep into it, Kumbanaka reached out to him.
"Fred, I have information. Are you ready to receive it?" Kumbanaka asked.
"Sure."
"First, Let us talk about your bathing pools. They are lovely, and the humans are excited to see them. Frankly, I am too. But&"
"But?" Fred asked.
"You added some plants around. And one type, the type with the orange striped leaves, is actually& it doesn`t smell nice."
"It stinks?" Fred mused.
"Well, it doesn`t smell relaxing or sweet or comforting. It smells sharp and medicinal. And its smell is also associated with some strange local prejudices. So if you remove that plant, the pools should be very popular."If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
"Okay. I`mma do it right now." And he did so, relocating the plants with the orange striped leaves to a spot near where he`d left the potatoes and onions, inside the Inner Wall. It only took a moment. "What else?"
Kumbanaka continued, "You asked me about the new residents of the Forest Temple."
"Oh yeah," Fred said. "The silly hats."
"Heh. They are quite silly. I share your disdain for such pompousness. Anyway, they are indeed priests. From the most powerful and popular temple in A`wheriwe. They are a very magical sect that worships& well, several gods, five, I think, a veritable pantheon. Typical of mainstream religions to co-opt everything they can see, to control it. They call themselves Priests of the Holy Northern Circle of Light."
"So can they get the teleporter working?"
"That`s exactly what they`re here to do. As well as lay claim to your town, in the name of their religion."
"Hmm. Does Priestess Sharfroen share their religion?" Fred asked.
"No she does not."
"Well that could cause trouble."
"Yes it could. But the king demanded that they get the teleporter working without fail or delay, so that will be their primary focus."
"Good. I wish I could help out somehow."
Kumbanaka laughed. "What, more than you already have? You instantly resurrected a forgotten temple complete with teleport pad, AFTER you built a boom town to support it. If you still need to do more, I`m sure they could use a better road from the town to the Temple. You could also build one of your towers, to allow access for gryphon riders. Oh, and how about a nice wall to keep demon bombs away?"
Excited by the ideas, Fred said, "Right, good ideas."
"But doing so would clearly and actively show that you favor the Holy Northern Circle of Light. Is that what you want?"
"Not at the expense of Priestess Sharfroen and her gang. She`s the one keeping all the humans alive and well."
"Perhaps," said Kumbanaka, "You could do things for her, then. To show your favor. For instance, you could expand her Healing Temple. I`ve heard that she would also be happier with an actual altar. Perhaps with a sanctuary, and a nice big nave."
"I don`t know any of those words," Fred said flatly.
"Ha. Fancy words for simple ideas. She just wants a big room where humans can worship together, and she wants a raised platform at one end of the room. That`s the sanctuary. It should be big enough for the priestess and an altar; a big box that she can put statues and candles upon, to direct the worship. If you made the sanctuary, her people might provide the altar, but since it`s usually a big block of stone, one span tall, you wouldn`t have trouble making it for her."
"Okay, you`re right," said Fred. "I can do all that for her. I was thinking about expanding her temple already, anyway."
"Oh, and more actual living space for the priestess and her acolytes would be good, too. They are overwhelmed, and are talking about sending for more of their kind to help out."
"Sure. So, if I do all that for both sides, do you think it would be good? Or should I try to favor Sharfroen more clearly?"
"If the two sides come to blows, or even harsh words, you can always drop someone in a hole. You always have the ability to make a statement. And my suggestions would all benefit the town as a whole. So I`d suggest doing it all."
"Okay, but it`s gonna have to wait. I found a river to the north. And I want to change it so it comes a lot closer."
"Very good. A growing city needs water," Kumbanaka opined. "Let`s talk about the pilgrims."
"Okay," Fred replied. "They keep coming."
"Yes, and they`re encamped outside the wall, now. Where they have only one latrine."
"You want me to make more?"
"That area is due to be filled with many, many more humans," Kumbanaka said. "When the enemy`s armies come, the armies of A`wheriwe, and Riversond, and perhaps even Rielkin will come too. They will make camp right where the pilgrims are now. And as you well know, they will need effective sanitation."
"Yeesh. It sounds like I should cover the whole area in dozens of those latrines."
"An excellent idea, Spirit. Good thinking," Kumbanaka said with a grin. "Finally, I found out something about Hoffendaugn and those fliers."
"Yeah?" said Fred, interested.
"I talked with more people who`ve been to Hoffendaugn. They say the fliers were being distributed by the city guards themselves. One person also saw shifty people in cowled robes passing them out."
"So the papers are coming from Hoffendaugn?"
"From the city`s government itself; that`s how I interpret it. And this can mean two possibilities. One, the leaders of Hoffendaugn want to encourage all the sick and weak and needy to leave their town and come be your problem. Two, Hoffendaugn has been co-opted by the demons, and is using these papers to disrupt and burden your town with lots of pilgrims."
"What does this mean for me? And my town? And Priestess Sharfroen?"
"Well, for you," Kumbanaka replied, "Nothing much. Not for now. For the Priestess, either way means more work, but you`ll help her, and so will her order, I assume. The big concern is the control of Hoffendaugn`s army. Which isn`t actually a big concern at all."
"Why not?"
"Hoffendaugn HAS no army to speak of. The kingdom has been corrupt for a long time, and that condition tends to hollow out and destroy any standing military structure in a society. They don`t get conquered simply because they`re unthreatening, but good for trade. So if the demons want an effective army from Hoffendaugn, they`ll be waiting for a long time."
"If Hoffendaugn is so worthless," Fred countered, "Why would the demons bother to take it over?"
"Disinformation. Chaos. Distrust. Fear. Disunity. The demons seem to hurt everything just because they want to. You`ve met them. They`re foul, in every way. All one has to do, to be a good person, is the opposite of what a demon does."
"It`s hard to understand such evil," Fred said.
"I couldn`t agree more. Now, it`s time for me to get a little sleep. Before I die in the morning. Goodnight!"
That reminded Fred to look at Kumbanaka`s pedestal and replace the gold token. But it was still there. He remembered that Kumbanaka hadn`t been killed yesterday. "Okay, that was easy," Fred shrugged.