Home Genre comedy THE GIRL WHO FELL IN THROUGH THE HOLE AT THE END OF THE WORLD

  The next three things to happen occurred within millimoments of each other, but due to that peculiar sensation in which time appears to slow down so much that every single instant retains all its detail in pin-sharp clarity, were experienced by Elizabeth as wholly distinct events.

  The first of these things was the distant thunder of a cannon being fired. This was followed by the subsequent burst of the mid-air explosion that led directly to the third and final thing to happen, which was that a pulverising shockwave battered the Odyssey and sent it tumbling about the sky.

  "Dominion Gunship - portside!" Aelgren bellowed, as Barnaby came scrambling like a mad thing to the rear. A pair of black and orange camera lenses were strapped haphazardly around the professor`s head, giving him the look of a goggle-faced cyborg.

  Barnaby pressed the binoculars up to one of the porthole windows. "And by the look of it she`s armed to the teeth".

  The ashen fear in his voice was plain enough that everyone knew what it meant: We haven`t got a chance.

  The gondola rocked violently in the force from another blast.

  "Can`t we outrun them?" shouted Luella, ducking to avoid one of the numerous jars, half-filled with thin yellow custard, that hung like wind chimes from the roof ("experimental tea", she rapidly explained, spotting Elizabeth`s confusion).

  The turmoil was accompanied by the not-so-distant rat-ta-tat of lots of machine guns firing.

  "Not fast enough!" Barnaby flew to the pilot`s seat, frantically trying to get the airship under control. He pulled on a lever then pushed it back, tapping a large brass compass on the dashboard. "And it won`t take them long to find the range of their cannons".

  Elizabeth could see their attackers clearer now: a monstrous, lumbering zeppelin, as large as a storm cloud, the length of its underbelly bristling with guns.

  Izzario had broken out in a pale sweat. "They`re getting closer . . . "

  Barnaby jerked the controls to the right, the Odyssey tilting at an impossible angle.

  "Can we nae at least shoot back?" grumbled Aelgren, looking peakier by the second.

  "This is a scientific expedition", Barnaby protested, twiddling as many dials as he could at the same time. "One does not waste valuable space on unnecessary items of weaponry!"

  Elizabeth`s eyes were drawn to the rear of the capsule, where a telescopic tube was wrapped in long wire coils. It reminded her of the kind of science fiction ray guns used in black and white TV shows that nobody watched any more.

  "What about that?" she asked, hopefully.

  Luella batted away another perilous jar. "It`s just an isolator beam. The filaments use a magnaray to supercharge the capacitrons. It disrupts the flow of alphaparticles, creating a negative energy wave that floods the ionic field. At least that`s what Barnaby says. He`s been trying to find a way to power the engines with it for ages".

  "Oh", remarked Elizabeth, as if this was the kind of an explanation that she heard routinely every day.

  "The beam needs to reach the North Star to have any chance of causing a reaction, and even then it might not actually work".

  Elizabeth saw another flash. Only this time it wasn`t coming from the barrel of a cannon.

  This was the light of Extremely Bright Ideas.

  "But the gunship looks as if it`s heading over the North Star now. If we could get above it, then, um . . . maybe we could . . . "

  Barnaby spun about, his mouth agape as if ready to dispense another withering objection.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  And then he stopped.

  And paused.

  Elizabeth`s words dangled silently in the air.

  "Actually that`s not a bad idea", Barnaby shouted. "Hang on!"

  He slammed the pedals as hard as he could. The engines made a terrifying, ear splitting screech, the propellers whirling around like blenders churning up the sky.

  The airship came to a halt . . . and began to go backwards, soaring higher into the air.

  "Get the beam ready!"

  Luella dived towards the telescopic ray gun, opened a flap in the floor and slid the instrument into position. "I`ll need a minute to set it up".

  The Odyssey was gaining altitude, the engines shrieking their complaints like banshees.

  "I`m really starting to regret nae being sick before we left", said Aelgren, woefully.

  Elizabeth watched as they began to climb over the gunship, the enemy craft slipping away beyond the bottom edge of the window. Elizabeth guessed - and hoped - that it was not too far beneath them.

  "We`re nearly above the masts", called Barnaby.

  "Hang on", Luella was saying. "It`s not lined up properly".

  "Almost there . . . "

  "Just give me a few more seconds".

  Elizabeth flinched as a calamitous BAANNNGGGG!!!!!! shuddered through the capsule. She was convinced - not least by all the billowing smoke - that they must have taken a direct hit, and therefore equally certain that she was about to go hurtling into the clouds.

  "Oh cruzzlefud!" cursed Barnaby, bashing away at the controls. "I think I might have overloaded the engines".

  "Nearly ready . . . "

  The airship listed to one side, the gunship beginning to drift back into view.

  "Luella - NOW!"

  There was a blinding flash and a deafening CRACK, as if the sky itself was being shattered and torn apart. An electric cascade of white-hot fury leapt from the underside of the Odyssey, which now resembled a Greek god throwing down jagged bolts of lightning.

  The enemy gunship was engulfed in a tremendous ball of flame.

  The blast from the explosion threw the pod even higher into the atmosphere, tossing it about like a tiny boat on the waves of a savage storm.

  "Nobody panic!" implored Barnaby. "The Odyssey`s got a few surprises left in her yet".

  A few more lever-pulls and a deft flick of a switch later and Elizabeth was staring in boggle-eyed wonder at the pair of large sails unfurling themselves from either side of the gondola.

  Barnaby staggered, grinning, into the capsule. "Wind power", he cheerfully announced. "In case of emergencies".

  Elizabeth gazed about at the scene of complete devastation that was now the inside of the airship and the trails of black smoke that continued to pour from the propellers.

  Somehow Barnaby`s sense of exuberance appeared to be misplaced.

  "But what about the North Star?" she asked, as the sloshing in her stomach finally agreed not to cause any trouble.

  "Oh, never mind that. The main thing is that we`re all here and the Omnaria`s safe. I don`t know what we would have done if that fell into enemy hands".

  He expectantly studied the mess on the floor and thrust his goggles at Aelgren. "Right, where is it?"

  Aelgren looked back at him with a face as blank as a balloon. "Why are you asking me?"

  "Erm . . . because I distinctly recall telling you to bring it".

  "Ach, you didnae". Aelgren gave a broad twist of his head. "Bring my instruments - I`m going to get the Omnaria` - those were your exact words".

  Barnaby`s expression became a hundred per cent more serious. "No, Aelgren. What I actually said was: Bring my instruments - and don`t forget the Omnaria!`"

  Aelgren had a squinty, dazed and puzzled look about him. "Are you sure?"

  "Very sure - so where is it?"

  By now Barnaby had embarked on a desperate search of the gondola, looking under the chairs and shovelling everyone out of the way. "No no no no no - it has to be here somewhere. Please tell me that somebody picked it up".

  But when no-one said anything the awful realisation began to sink in.

  Barnaby slumped in a seat, buried his face in his hands and groaned. "Don`t say we`ve left it behind".

  Izzario, sitting with his cowl pulled over his head, sighed with pious disdain. "By the fates Aelgren, you`ve managed to make a complete mess of things again. It`s truly remarkable how you keep finding whole new ways to do it".

  "But it wasnae my fault", Aelgren grunted.

  "So why do these things keep happening to you?"

  "I must have been born under an unlucky star".

  "Or dropped on your head at birth!"

  "The important thing", said Luella, sternly, "is to work out a plan of action".

  "But what can we do?" moaned Barnaby. "The Omnaria`s gone".

  Elizabeth squirmed as tendrils of doom began snaking around her insides. "Can`t you make another one?"

  "Perhaps. I don`t know. I might be able to refit one of the prototypes but it could take weeks to get everything set up properly, and without the Quistone it`s useless anyway. The other stones are too small. It takes a lot of power to make an inter-dimensional rift".

  Elizabeth was crushed to the size of a decimal point. The only way she had of getting home was hundreds of metres below a frozen forest in an underground bunker that was crawling with armed raiders who just minutes before had been trying to blow her out of the sky.

  Without the Omnaria she would never see her mum or the hospital or the Woodside Academy or any other grotty part of Hexley-on-Heath again.

  Without the Omnaria she was going to be stuck here, with these people, in this very strange place, forever.

  Elizabeth gazed forlornly at her companions.

  "So what am I supposed to do now?"

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