Pak

　　"You hear voices, don`t you?" my father says. I look up at him for the first time. His eyes are purple. Just like mine.

　　"I never said anything like that. I don`t know what you`re talking about."

　　"It`s okay," he says. "There are& signs. Sometimes you flinch and look somewhere for no reason. They told me you`ve yelled at people who weren`t there, before-"

　　"Sh-shut up..."

　　You`re pathetic.

　　"I hear them sometimes, too," he says, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Nobody else knows about it. Please don`t tell anyone&"

　　His foot bounces even faster than before. This isn`t how any of this is supposed to go. This isn`t how I thought he would be.

　　"But when they told me that, that was when I knew," he says. "That can`t be a coincidence, can it? I always thought I was just crazy, but& maybe it`s something that runs in our blood."

　　I halt my breath.

　　"What sort of things do they say?" I ask.

　　"Nasty things."

　　"Are they the ones who told you to rape my mom?"

　　I squeeze my fist until a knuckle pops. His foot stops bouncing.

　　"Do you really think that`s what happened?" he says. He sounds hurt. I wipe the sweat from my lip.Stolen novel; please report.

　　"How else did you bed a n-noblewoman?" I spit, my ears burning. It`s his turn to sit quietly, leaving my accusation hanging in the air. I glance up to see his eyes distant, lips screwed into a frown.

　　"I don`t know what her family told you," he says. "But your mother meant the world to me. I would never hurt her-"

　　"You killed her!" I shout.

　　"What are you talking about?" he hisses.

　　"She died giving birth to me," I say. "She`d still be alive if it weren`t for you, you& You raped her, and then you left her to die!"

　　My voice cracks. I grip the table. I`m crying. This isn`t how this was supposed to go.

　　"I did no such thing," he says. "I didn`t even know&"

　　His voice trails off. I wipe my eyes with the heel of my hand and bury my fingers in my hair. He leans in and puts his elbows on the table, hovering over the pitcher.

　　"I`m not supposed to tell you this," he whispers. "I was posing as a servant for your family. That`s how I met her. We started talking, and& we fell in love."

　　I stare at my feet.

　　Don`t listen to him.

　　He knows what he did.

　　"I only left because your grandmother found out what I am," he says. "I didn`t want to go, but the Guard were going to kill me. I barely escaped with my life. I didn`t know&"

　　He sits back, hugging himself. His shoulders shake.

　　"I didn`t know she died," he says, covering his face. "Sh-shit& I&"

　　His voice trails off into a quavering whine. He wipes his eyes with his sleeve, then leans forward, shakily pours himself a cup of water, and drinks it all in one gulp.

　　"She didn`t deserve this," he says. "No& not my sweet, sweet Lilia&"

　　My stomach drops.

　　"It is my fault," he says with a whine. "I shouldn`t have&"

　　His words become gibberish to my ears.

　　ba-dum. ba-dum.