Home > Genre > tragedy > Aegis: The First Attempt
Aegis: The First Attempt QuiteTheSlacker
94.41 Ten thousand words Views 8070 Recommend 31

This is the original first draft of Aegis in all its inexperienced glory. The pacing is a bit awkward, some dialogue is stiff, and everything is much less explained/detailed than the rewrite. Still, for those who wish to peruse my humble beginning as a writer, this draft will remain up for the more curious souls. If you would like to visit the rewrite, the link is here: Aegis Thank you to those who joined Aegis during its initial run. You gave me the motivation to keep on writing, and this series would not be the same without the valued feedback and encouragement I received from the kind people in this community. Regards, QuiteTheSlacker  "Rise, my beloved. As you always have. As you always will." Humanity has always yearned to reach the Stars. It is an inevitable instinct, a deep-rooted desire that festers within them all. It is the realm of their creator, and where endless possibilities await them. But not all wish for humanity to ascend. A single being known as The Constellation has chained them to the earth since the world's beginning, an ever-vigilant warden shackled to the past. Its true origin and appearance remain a mystery for none that meet its gaze ever return to the realm of the living. Only a single entity has the ability to usurp The Constellation and guide humanity to the Stars above. They are humanity's hope, a blinding ray amongst the darkness, but their light has been snuffed out long ago. Now, humanity is doomed to stagnate amidst their fragmented land, nations waging war on each other in a desperate attempt to hold dominion over what little authority they have over the earth. One day, hope returns to the continent for their savior has finally returned. A baby boy bearing the mark of The Comet has been born somewhere in the world, and the various rulers that occupy the land are desperate to control the baby's power and use it for their own ambition. However, his birth also awakens the slumbering atrocity from its rest, ready to fulfill its duty as it has time and time again. O' child of the Stars: Shine bright, shine bright. Your journey shall be long and arduous, but this world will soon fall. Two choices lay before you: Rally humanity together and bring about an end to the age of fracture; Or burn the world to its very core, and from the ashes will rise a new beginning. Shine bright Aegis, for this is your story.  Thank you so much to GabbieMok for the cover illustration! Their art is amazing, and I highly recommend them for anyone looking to get a cover for themselves! Here's a link below to their page. https://www.fiverr.com/gabbiemok https://www.deviantart.com/gabbiemok  Here's a link to my patreon. If you'd like to support my work, then feel free to leave a tip! QuiteTheSlacker

Comments
This is the original first draft of Aegis in all its inexperienced glory. The pacing is a bit awkward, some dialogue is stiff, and everything is much less explained/detailed than the rewrite. Still, for those who wish to peruse my humble beginning as a writer, this draft will remain up for the more curious souls.
If you would like to visit the rewrite, the link is here: Aegis
Thank you to those who joined Aegis during its initial run. You gave me the motivation to keep on writing, and this series would not be the same without the valued feedback and encouragement I received from the kind people in this community.
Regards,
QuiteTheSlacker

"Rise, my beloved. As you always have. As you always will."
Humanity has always yearned to reach the Stars. It is an inevitable instinct, a deep-rooted desire that festers within them all. It is the realm of their creator, and where endless possibilities await them.
But not all wish for humanity to ascend. A single being known as The Constellation has chained them to the earth since the world's beginning, an ever-vigilant warden shackled to the past. Its true origin and appearance remain a mystery for none that meet its gaze ever return to the realm of the living.
Only a single entity has the ability to usurp The Constellation and guide humanity to the Stars above. They are humanity's hope, a blinding ray amongst the darkness, but their light has been snuffed out long ago. Now, humanity is doomed to stagnate amidst their fragmented land, nations waging war on each other in a desperate attempt to hold dominion over what little authority they have over the earth.
One day, hope returns to the continent for their savior has finally returned. A baby boy bearing the mark of The Comet has been born somewhere in the world, and the various rulers that occupy the land are desperate to control the baby's power and use it for their own ambition. However, his birth also awakens the slumbering atrocity from its rest, ready to fulfill its duty as it has time and time again.
O' child of the Stars: Shine bright, shine bright. Your journey shall be long and arduous, but this world will soon fall.
Two choices lay before you: Rally humanity together and bring about an end to the age of fracture;
Or burn the world to its very core, and from the ashes will rise a new beginning.
Shine bright Aegis, for this is your story.

Thank you so much to GabbieMok for the cover illustration! Their art is amazing, and I highly recommend them for anyone looking to get a cover for themselves! Here's a link below to their page.
https://www.fiverr.com/gabbiemok
https://www.deviantart.com/gabbiemok

Here's a link to my patreon. If you'd like to support my work, then feel free to leave a tip!
QuiteTheSlacker
Latest chapters :   Rewrite now live! Updated : 2024-03-21 15:20

Similars
  • Stories that teach you about life( a collection of short stories)

    Author : Workaholics inc

    This is a collection of short stories, ranging from slice of life to romance and more (Complete)

  • An Injection of the Universe

    Author : The Yobanashi Girouette

    Within every individual lies infinite possibilities. Any number of infinitely small changes in their lives, conscious or unconscious, could result in a wholly different individual, walking a wholly different path. An average person can only guess at what they could've been had things been a little different& But not Michael Ocenar. Every night when Michael goes to sleep, every Michael across all known and unknown universes is there, waiting for him. Whenever he's in trouble, he knows he can switch out, exchanging places with another Michael from another world. But now, the Michaels are dying. One by one, their numbers are dwindling across the countless parallel worlds. But what is causing this sudden string of deaths, and can a multiverse of Michaels come to the answer before they all die out?

  • Born Broken

    Author : Sakinah B

    You can connect over coffee. Connect through pain. Connect with someone's smile or with their tears. It can be that simple. But sometimes it's not.

  • A Good Man

    Author : verus

    Book 1: A Good Man All are to be ordained. All ordained are to be registered. Those who stray from the path become obsolete. These are the tenants the grand Mercian Bureaucracy lives by. None can escape their destined path, lest they become obsolete. The obsolete are hunted down by the ordained assassins, supported by the Mercian government. Follow ordained assassin 2500116, Eli de Winter, as he performs his duties in the grand city of Victoria. Fifteen years ago Eli suddenly found himself in a world unlike his own. Within the maze of the many layered streets of the industrial city he was forced to make a new home, performing acts that would have seen him convicted on Earth. Gangsters, revolutionaries, kings and princes, all are playing a game with the highest stakes. The winds of change are blowing and everybody wants to be on the right side of history. While the powers that might be are making moves in the shadow there is only one question that haunts Eli's mind. Is he a good man, or is he obsolete?

  • Shoot out in New Country

    Author : NotAdam

    John works as a rider, moving from settlement to settlement and enforcing the rule of the court. Of course, none of this means he can't take a short detour to handle matters of personal importance. The stories I write take place in the same world; you can read more about this world when more of it is written.