B. A. Baker (Thedude3445) | satire | Complete
The most underrated character of Tower of Somnus finally gets his due: Hear Arnold Jacques's side of the events for the first time ever. Read a story about how the world's nicest guy tried to win over the world's hottest girl by buying a hundred thousand dollar video game from space.
9.48 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-11 17:18
Commander Kane | satire | Complete
Since the times of old, the Six Towers of Valdir have stood tall in their respective kingdoms. Always, it is has been six. Six Managers, six Cores, six hoards of treasure. But times are changing. The fearsome Managers that history has come to know, hate, and respect, all the same, are about to get a new Manager in their ranks. They await to see who governs the seventh Tower on the banks of the Yearning sea, just as the adventurers, kings, and peasants alike are trembling with dreadful anticipation. Some want a newbie who's worth the extra space, while others want someone who'll keep with the status quo. Instead, they got Kevin. ~Expect an update on a Friday~
11.02 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:16
The anarchist rioters and flaky deadbeats thought their juvenile rebellion had succeeded...until the grownups arrived. Then they sullenly realized playtime was over. I first released this novel in September 2021. Unsettlingly, it's only become more true since then. Available on Amazon. Master fiction list here.
43.97 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:18
Ralts Bloodthorne | satire | Complete
Fraker the Axe is many things: The Herald of Carnage, the Favored Son, He Who Cannot Be Bound. But those are the names he is called in prophecy, legend, and heroic epics. The reality is somewhat different.
26.31 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-13 17:03
24 hours. 10 bidders. 1 winner. A Princess from Earth is invited to an auction on a distant planetoid only to learn that she's the item on sale. Her foes include: a Chinese space pirate, a Russian duelist, a Japanese high-tech samurai, a Venusian mafiosi, two expert French poisoners, a floating Swiss banker, a German Baron with more ties to her family than she can imagine, and a British gentleman who also happens to be a pterodactyl. Her arsenal consists of: vague memories from classes she mostly slept through, a pile of gadgets for which she's never read the user manual, excellent table manners, and a ferret who's loyal to a fault. This will not be easy. Hey, so since the novel was published by WordFire press, I can't leave the whole thing online. You can get the whole thing here though. There's even an audiobook. If you read it on RR, a short Amazon review will be really appreciated. It helps a lot! Also, my second novel is here in full. It's a litRPG about a dwarf paladin who really, really wants to get a domain of her own...
25.19 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:17
Even aliens have legal troubles. Whenever an intergalactic being runs into trouble on earth, Lord Farkvold, the High Councilman of the Planets of Slatt, contacts Earth attorneys Marsh and Henry to help extra-terrestrials avoid unwanted attention and jail.
7.58 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:18
TrafficButter | satire | Complete
He died, as all things do. He got combusted, as all things do. He became part of the air, as all things do. He got absorbed by some flora, as all things do. He got eaten, and he's a bull again& As all things do, right? After his sentience whirled around some abstract cycle, Triple-A now attempts to live peacefully, undergoing conversion and transformation as his mind exceeds that of simple herd behavior. He went from wanting to let the grass grow under his feet to undergoing an existential crisis regarding life and death; he needed to squash this beef. Uploads daily at 8:48am EST
2.32 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:13
Goreblaster - a beefcake whose prime ingredient is over-the-top monster slaying, topped off with the delicate frosting of the desperate need for validation and adoration. Under the (mostly) helpful guidance of his hapless assistant slash manager, Percy, the pair turned his natural skills (and incredibly unrealistic physique) into a career of seemingly unending foe-crushing-heroics. Goreblaster is a series of short stories (~10k words each) following the exploits of the barbarian and is a pulp trash novel by intention! Full of questionable uses of the written language and some satire of the fantasy genre. (Think Conan x Dangermouse x a stale cheese sandwich). It is also a meta-fiction within my usual Deathforged universe - a seemingly unending series of unpublished pulp novellas of no known author, the various handwritten tomes having been found all across the world of Othea over several decades.
18.84 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:16
I just found a silly little thing I wrote in 2010 about the year 2022. Thought I'd share it here :)
0.52 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:15
fsarbolaez | satire | Complete
[Full Title: The Colonial History of Tir-Torzor and Brief Accounts of Its Diasporas' Denizens] An alien scholar is sent by their institution to study, evaluate, and report on the colonial history of another galactic civilization known as the Apiary. There are only two planets under the Apiary's dominion: The empire's home world, Eas-Enerang, and Tir-Torzor, its sole colonized claim. This is the compiled historical records on the effects conquest has had over its native inhabitants. {Content Warning: This story is a work of satire involving some instances of foul language, xenophobia, violence, recalling assault, and allusions to historical atrocities and tragedies. Discretion is advised.} Visit https://ko-fi.com/choftt to support the story! Art for collage cover by Paul David London. Collage and artistic additions by F.S. Arbolaez.
58.20 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:24
MISTAKES WERE MADE Obi Imsi enjoyed his life as an overpowered paladin tryhard filled to the brim with beautiful women who loved him unconditionally for all the wrong reasons. Everything was going great until he tried to woo the wrong one and was polymorphed into a literal trash can. Starting back at level 1, he must find someway to regain his power and hopefully return to his real body. He soon finds that his new life won't be easy, and he embarks a fantastic fantasy adventure that's so bad, it's good (terrible). Formerly known as Harem Trash, renamed due to disturbing lack of harem (crow harems don't count). Updates on weekends. Once the story is complete, it'll stay up for a few weeks until I take it off to put it on market.
132.54 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-27 17:17
B. A. Baker (Thedude3445) | satire | Complete
The Soul Palace System has ruled the world of Wuweizi for countless eons, but there is a new magic afoot--or should we say, avine. Xi Gua Lao, an aspiring daoist, embarks on an adventure that leads him to an up close and personal encounter with the one thing he never expected: Vine Waifus. Vine Waifu created with Artbreeder. Cover by me. Audiobook narration by Kgy121. Read other Vines: Chaos Vines OnlineVINAL FANTASYVines: A Short StoryThe Vines of Bramblekeep When Immortal Ascension Fails Divine Thorns
20.78 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:15
A drunk guy has a conversation with a cat. Parody of The Raven by that famous poet dude. A short poem.
0.64 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:12
Gatta Darya | satire | Complete
First short story of the ThReeee Sentences Story serie by 2 people writing 3 sentences in turns live. P.S. It is a satire, don't take it too seriously.
1.45 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-27 12:12
Kaylie Night | satire | Complete
Diane has been a prankster for as long as Megan has known her. So when Diane announces that she's an alien, Megan is waiting for the punchline . . .
0.60 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:17
The God Of Boredom | satire | Complete
A guy wakes up in the morning. That, alone, is a traumatic experience by itself. But then the sun goes out. The guy figures that it's just some freak solar eclipse or something like that. After all, he isn't exactly a scientist. But, no; The same thing happens again the next morning. And the next. The guy must now figure out what's going on. This is my 2nd fiction, written for the [Royal Road Community Magazine] Contest, with the first being something I'd rather not show you. When I started this one(a couple hours before I wrote this synopsis), I had a fair idea of what I was doing, kind of. Cover by MRMerrigan.
4.41 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:18
Brian Law Korn was an average guy living an average life until one day he met his friend, Brender who entrusted him with a strange box and a toaster to be delivered to an unknown location. Little did he know this will change his life forever.This is part 1 of the (hopefully) 3 parts long ToTo's Strange Journey series. This is a parody based on the action-adventure manga/anime JoJo's Bizarre Adventure by Hirohiko Araki
15.61 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:19
After having a tantrum in court that lands him in contempt, Chad Barrington is forced to seek counseling and take two months off. Unable to work, this top notch lawyer decides to go on vacation and sooth his battered ego. Chad quickly learns that it's possible to be a total Douche in paradise as well...
30.43 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 15:20
Pillage Your Village | satire | Complete
A young man by the name of Otto Von Peter wakes up on a chilly morning as a beef patty. His life is forever changed, especially after he is bestowed cheese. He must attempt to gain levels in order to survive and traverse the human body. How will he survive? Will his friends help him? Is there a way out? Only time will tell.
2.26 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:14
TealiciousTea | satire | Complete
The first chapter is based on a short story originally written by Robert Walzer in 1914, and translated by Christopher Middleton. It is a retelling for 2021 or the "long 2020" by me. The following chapters are originals by myself.
0.83 Ten thousand words | Updated at 2024-03-29 18:14
